tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72422900270758984572024-03-13T22:14:26.156-07:00Living a Loving Life... a journal of life, love and laughter ... and something called 'this thing we do' ...NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-3505557681939049972019-06-18T11:21:00.001-07:002019-06-18T11:26:36.777-07:00At Gramma's House .... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... ahem! - except in this house, Grampa does ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">🤣 ... nj</span></div>
NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-73870065327252165772019-06-15T21:56:00.001-07:002019-06-16T10:59:52.179-07:00Theatre Sports ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We were recently off on our annual anniversary getaway. It is something we’ve made an effort to do every year since our kids were little. Then it was a much needed respite. Today we are retired but we still have everyday life obligations at home so the intent of the annual event hasn’t changed. It was, and still is, a time for us to focus on each other without day to day life getting in the way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The amount of luggage we had with us this year was truly embarrassing … I always overpack as I pack for ‘possibilities and choice’ not for what I need to wear each day. Add to that, sex is a very important part of our annual excursion so that has to be taken into consideration as well. We have a ‘toy bag’ - our collection has grown over the years so it now requires a small rolling suitcase. Also, appropriate sexy clothing and lingerie is a must. There was also another consideration for this years packing … role play … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We have always had lingerie and cosplay type attire in our sex life. Frank, like most men, is a visual creature … when it comes to sex, he, more often than not, likes to see me attired according to his whim of the moment. Role play isn’t something I’ve been comfortable with in the past as acting has never been my forte. Dressing up I can do … acting a part … not so much. However, with a little help from reading other blogs in the blogging community, Frank was able to convince me to give it a try and whaddaya know … it soon became evident Frank was more than capable of carrying the acting load and I just had to be present and accounted for to make the appropriate responses to his lead … and turns out … that I could do ... lol! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In the lead up to our getaway, the role play situation got to the point where I was tempted to suggest to Frank that we not have any sex during the couple of weeks prior to our departure … the cast of characters he was bringing into the picture seemed to grow with every episode and the stage was starting to get a little crowded :>)). Although he certainly turned out to be a great casting director, I’d never call him a script writer. Frank’s approach to role play is more like theatre sports. Even in our non role play scene activities, I don’t think he plans much. When I asked him once before, after a particularly spectacular session, if it was a planned scene … his response was .... “did you have a good time” … to which I responded … “hell yes!” … and he finished with … “well then, that’s all that matters” … discussion closed ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All of which means our designated overarching roles in this new role play adventure has him as the casting director/lead actor and me as the costume and prop designer and supporting cast :>)). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So yes, I also needed to plan and pack for all the potential role play parts … yet another suitcase. We only had 5 nights away so I was pretty sure not all characters would make it onto the stage but again … with no firm plan I had to plan for all … which included … </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pepper … age undetermined but a youngish preppy girl</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Professor … stern taskmaster</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dr C … kinky physician</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Nurse Betty - Dr C’s assistant (I’ve told Frank he needs to come up with a new name. I have an Aunt Betty so just saying the name does me in - not helpful when trying to get into character :>)) </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Store Detective and his thievery counterpart, Rosie, the underwear shoplifter … one really does have to give the man props for ingenuity!</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, the luggage situation was a bit ridiculous :>))</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am sure some of you would love me to spill details of how our role play episodes unfolded but I will save those tales for another day. I can say that I, Nora, was also along for the ride with the rest of the cast so I also packed a special new outfit for ‘me’ … pleather, high waisted leggings topped with my red and black corset … my newly blonde streaked long hair worn down. This is how I dressed for our first evening in … and our last. Turns out it was Frank’s favourite outfit of the vacation … and when he said with a dark appreciative look and a small smile as I came out of the bedroom … “You feel sexy, don’t you?”, he was right. I did feel attractive ... and comfortable in my own skin ... and how we interacted with one another when I was me and he was him, emphasized to me, that although role play is a fun activity to put a little sizzle in our adventures, when we’re ourselves, Dominant man and submissive woman, is when all the best play begins and ends.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.... thanks for dropping by ... nj</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/06/09/tell-me-about-roleplay-10/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;">Click on the badge or follow this link to read what other bloggers have to say about <br />'Role Play'</span></a></span></td></tr>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-642334702827281572019-05-26T09:06:00.000-07:002019-05-26T09:14:03.006-07:00... When I'm gone ... <span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The prompt for the Erotic Journal Challenge this week is <i><a href="https://brigitdelaney.com/2019/05/the-erotic-journal-challenge-20-aging/#" target="_blank">Aging ... What are your thoughts, hopes, and fears about sexuality as you age?</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've come to realize I have a couple of perhaps odd visuals in my head when it comes to time and the passage of time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My visual for a year is a flat spherical ring ... like the rings around Saturn except without the planet in the middle. The spherical plane is dissected where December ends and January begins. As we've aged, our annual trips around the sphere seem to have sped up.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sxQ7uyxNXcE/XOnVW_dwrQI/AAAAAAAABek/HYZzpauDI6IK26t0NBaeTZIVk_AwQGOPACLcBGAs/s1600/saturn.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sxQ7uyxNXcE/XOnVW_dwrQI/AAAAAAAABek/HYZzpauDI6IK26t0NBaeTZIVk_AwQGOPACLcBGAs/s1600/saturn.jpeg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My timeline visual for life is a runway ... you touch down at the start and depart at the end. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Putting sexuality aside for a moment, I think how one feels about aging depends on where you are on the runway of life .... if you're in advance of midpoint - other than perhaps having a momentary crisis when a milestone birthday is reached, aging is something to think about a little further down the runway towards takeoff. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Where we sit now on our timeline of life, there is much more runway behind us than in front of us. The horizon that marks the end of the runway is beginning to show itself which is why the title of this post is something Frank often says to me ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"When I'm gone ... " </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... and every time he says it, he breaks my heart just a little bit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I suppose, in his mind, he has reasons to speak the words ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... he is 5 yrs older than me</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... he is male so therefore statistics are not in his favour</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... he has been through multiple health issues, including two bouts of cancer, the last one life threatening and he's not considered 'out of the woods' until he hits 7 years cancer free - so another 3 years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... his father died of heart disease at a young age (however, I always tell him to look to his Mom for his genes instead - she is still with us and going on 91)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... he has always been the more pessimistic one</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Everyone is aging ... not a day goes by when one isn't aging :>)). It's just when you get to a certain point on that runway of life, you realize there is less time left so you feel the aging process more intimately. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What about aging and sexuality? ... for us, as an 'older' couple, I can say for the most part, keeping our sexuality alive has not been a concern. Health issues, when they've cropped up, have caused us to pause and focus on what's in front of us - but that happens no matter what age you're at. We also had one medication side effect arise that blew Frank's libido sideways for a few months (a blood pressure med - often a culprit in erectile dysfunction and/or libido issues). Physical strength and agility also can be a factor ... but if the desire and need for intimacy is there, humans are an inventive species (see <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/11/so-we-begin-again-part-i.html" target="_blank">'The Stool'</a> :>)) We are two persons, demographically considered to be 'seniors' ... our sexuality encompasses our life - and we are having some of the best sex of our lives. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I also look around at my fellow bloggers, here in this little corner of ttwd blogland - many of them are close in age to Frank and I, or not far off. They too are not suffering in the sexuality department. Despite what some of the world might think ... (Ella had a bit to say about that in her <a href="http://ellaeverafter0410.blogspot.com/2019/05/just-thinking-and-just-little-bit-gross.html" target="_blank">last post</a>) ... the old folks are still thinking about sex, having sex and often lots of it - because guess what ... we have time in our day :>)) As I said in a comment to Ella's post ... a doctor once told me the highest rates of STD's are in retirement communities ... obviously the old folks are still getting it on ... how safely is another matter :>)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But back to the words in the title of this post ... the most difficult part for us and aging, is it won't be all that long before one of us will face having to live out our life without the other. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I often repeat back to Frank when he says those words ... 'But what if it's me that goes first' ... However, I truly hope that's not how it unfolds. Although I felt the gut wrenching fear of losing Frank with his last illness, and do not relish having to go there again, I do know that I am the emotionally stronger of the two of us. I am the one who has the fortitude of a strong survivor ... and being the one who is still here 'when he's gone', means I won't have to leave this world worrying about him ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://youtu.be/NGorjBVag0I" target="_blank">Dance me to the end of love</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">(musically this is not one of my favourite LC songs but lyrically, like all his work, it's perfect)</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Oh, let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Show me slowly what I only know the limits of</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="UH8R2" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long</span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="UH8R2" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the children who are asking to be born</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="UH8R2" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dance me to the end of love</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rEWlCneBnGY/XOnrCMhNkZI/AAAAAAAABfQ/bqOb0iVUnDw7CKVAFKcD3L_o6Po0lhtnwCLcBGAs/s1600/pink-circle-hi.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rEWlCneBnGY/XOnrCMhNkZI/AAAAAAAABfQ/bqOb0iVUnDw7CKVAFKcD3L_o6Po0lhtnwCLcBGAs/s200/pink-circle-hi.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://brigitdelaney.com/2019/05/the-erotic-journal-challenge-20-aging/" target="_blank">Click here to see what others are saying about 'Aging'</a></span></td></tr>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-22669501031812577782019-05-23T13:51:00.000-07:002019-05-23T15:09:04.366-07:00Sometimes it's the little things that count ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oxNnGpO6BDw/XOMoOYQ2cNI/AAAAAAAABeM/e0zDLYqCVGMOKlwhXLYHUkP0ucLzEUu-wCLcBGAs/s1600/trust.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oxNnGpO6BDw/XOMoOYQ2cNI/AAAAAAAABeM/e0zDLYqCVGMOKlwhXLYHUkP0ucLzEUu-wCLcBGAs/s1600/trust.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Trust ....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mistrust .... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">a general lack of trust or confidence, more likely to be based on feelings than experience; have doubts, misgivings or reservations about ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This prompt topic was a challenge to write ... not because there is any doubt regarding the level of trust in our relationship ... just the opposite. After so many years together, years that have weathered many crises where trust could have easily broken down but didn't - adding to that, our fairly recent commitment to the type of relationship we've entered into - means our level of trust with, and for each other, is at a pinnacle. It's a trust that covers so many aspects of our relationship ... the trust of fidelity, trust in the assurance we can, and will share our deepest thoughts and secrets, a trust of the strength of our love, trust of safety and security, a trust that we will be there for one another ... for the remainder of our lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I think we have the big T's of trust covered, as I assume most partners in a long term ttwd relationship would - this type of relationship wouldn't last long if big T Trust wasn't there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, I can also see how little mistrusts might sneak their way into a ttwd relationship ... and give cause for the disconnect or unmooring from the relationship we sometimes experience ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of my observations of the past year and a half is, if there is anything that is going to derail the continuity of a ttwd relationship, it's consistency - or more to the point ... the lack of consistency. Life and all that entails, can sometimes take over the relationship - busy careers, absences, raising children, health issues ... all of which can lead to rules and rituals missed or forgotten, designated time to be spent together waylaid or the need for unanticipated relationship adjustments. A lack of consistency leads to doubt (especially for the submissive partner) and that doubt leads to mistrust ... a mistrust that has us asking, amongst other things ... are we still really doing this thing called ttwd? ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We'd been in the midst of one of these disconnects for about a week - caused by a variety of reasons. I was up early early one morning in order to get the grandboys off to school. The first ritual that ever appeared in our life (long before ttwd) is Frank sets out my panties for the day. There is the rare occasion when I go to get dressed and there are no undies hanging over the edge of the drawer ... and if there are none, then it is understood it's a no panty day (so also a rule)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">. There was one such day the week previous. However, he was awake so rather than go without, I asked him what I was going to wear and he said he'd forgotten to put them out ... wow! ... unusual for him ... but quickly rectified :>) So now again, on this morning, there was nothing ... and he was still asleep ... I waffled ... did he forget again? ... do I wake him up? ... do I go commando? ... I wasn't keen on wearing none as I was heading for exercise class after boys were off to school. Not finding any panties laid out again in such short period of time, plus the disconnect that was underway, triggered a teeny tiny rebellious thought of mistrust ... screw it, if he can't remember then I'll just pick my own ... so I did and off I went.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After I got home I went to change and there was a pair of panties hanging over the edge of my dresser drawer ... 'oh, oh' ... I thought, 'busted!' ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I came out into the kitchen, Frank asked ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Did you shower this morning?" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Yes" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Are you wearing underwear?" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"uhhmm ... yes, I picked my own ... I was going to exercise class so I didn't want to be without" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"hmmm" ... was his response ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Later, just as we were finishing lunch and I was cleaning up, he asked ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Have you made the bed" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Yes" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Then go bend yourself over it" ... yikes! ... ok ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He didn't leave me waiting too long ... coming up behind me, tugging down my yoga pants to check on said underwear in question ... and then pulling down my panty selection for the day. He half sat next to me on the bed and pulled me over one leg and tucked me in. I buried my head, clutching the bed linen, preparing for what was coming.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He laid his hand on my now bare bum ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"So who decides what panties you wear everyday?" ... he started spanking ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">slap! smack! slap! smack!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"You do, Sir" ... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... his sharp barehanded slaps were landing on alternating cheeks, back and forth ... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">slap! smack! slap! smack!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What happens if there are no panties laid out in the morning?" ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">slap! smack! slap! smack!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I don't wear any, Sir" ... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">slap! smack! slap! smack!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He stopped short, brought me up, smoothing my hair off my face with both hands, making sure I was looking directly at him ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"So ... tell me again" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"You pick my panties and if there aren't any laid out, I don't wear any, Sir" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Good girl" ... and Frank ended it with a kiss to my forehead ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, a tiny little trust reminder ... from Frank, a reminder that says he realizes consistency matters ... and for me ... a reminder I need to work at trusting Frank will consistently follow through with overseeing even </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the littlest of rules and rituals in our ttwd life.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/" rel="nofollow" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank" title="tellmeabout"><img alt="tellmeabout" src="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Tell-Me-About-1-e1550433907309.png" style="border: none;" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/05/12/tell-me-about-trust-8/" target="_blank">... TRUST ...</a></span></b></td></tr>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-33911019740748856072019-05-11T08:30:00.000-07:002019-05-11T16:35:07.844-07:00Bittersweet ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I was a young mom and my own Moms were still relatively young, Mother's Day was a happy Hallmark card celebration - cards, flowers, family dinners and brunches. As I moved into later years, the life experiences that tapped me on the shoulder made me realize Mother's Day was often more bittersweet than happy. I now cherish the fact I have, not only Mother's Day, but many other days in the year to spend with my children, grandchildren and both my mothers ... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mother's Day is also a day when I think about ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">... those Moms who have lost a child ... through death, estrangement, or the selflessness of giving up one's child for adoption ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">... those children who have lost a Mom ... for all the same reasons ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">... those 'Moms to be' whose journey stopped at 'to be' ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">... those Moms who wanted to be a Mom but it never came to pass ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For all of you, I hope Sunday, the day of celebration for Mothers, is all that it can be for you ... and you are well loved by those you love ... nj ... xx</span></div>
<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-70346876269969675082019-05-10T11:47:00.003-07:002019-05-10T18:50:04.516-07:00So how do you feel about spanking now, NJ? ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>I love this vintage Robert McGinnis illustration ... his knee at the ready, his submissive woman by his side</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.... the question posed in the title of this post has been running through my head over the past couple of weeks or so, as I thought about how I was going to approach the current <a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/" target="_blank">Tell Me About Dominance and Submission</a> topic '<a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/04/28/tell-me-about-spanking-7/" target="_blank">Spanking</a>'. Considering we've been living in the DD/ttwd world of spanking for nearly a year and a half now, you wouldn't think writing the post would be so difficult ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some of what I have to say is covering familiar ground for those who've been with my blog since it's inception. However, given that I am using a prompt and therefore potentially reaching new readers, I will give a short recap ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank and I had a BDSM bedroom only dynamic starting in the late 90's. I would call it D/s light - kinky times 2-3 times a month and the rest vanilla, although the vanilla always had D/s overtones. Although Frank would have loved for it to have been more out of the bedroom, it wasn't something I felt I could do, so we didn't.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In 2016 I found a reading genre I'd never paid attention to before ... erotic romance (previously I'd been a reader of harder core erotica). I'd been binge reading for months when in early 2017 I came across an unfamiliar term - DD - Domestic Discipline ... I looked it up and was instantly fascinated. I read all I could about it for about a week before I took it to Frank with the idea that this might be an avenue for us to take our D/s into our everyday life ... in my view DD is a form of D/s, although a more subtle version. It was that subtleness that had me thinking 'yes, this is something I could do on a day to day, 7x24 basis'. Frank agreed to give it a go. Very soon after I discovered the DD/ttwd blogging world and our life was truly turned upside down ... down the rabbit hole with Alice we went .... all of it in a good way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have grown to know and care for the people who live in this DD/ttwd corner of Blogland. Many (most) have harboured deep longings for a spanking dynamic for very many years before coming out to their significant others and sharing their secret. For some, those longings started as far back as their childhood. I too had early longings (although more teen than childhood) but mine were of a darker nature. One of the first books I 'borrowed' from my parents dirty book stash was '<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/475958.The_Way_of_a_Man_with_a_Maid" target="_blank">The Way of a Man with a Maid</a>' ... and my second significant teen book find was 'The Story of O' ... yeah ... both of those definitely set the stage for what was to come. My point is I/we did not come into the DD world with a spanking fetish ... I/we came with BDSM kinks. Spanking, in and of itself, excluding the erotic impact play that was our experience, was something we had to 'learn' how to incorporate into our life - and the spankings came in very many flavours - from good girl to discipline to maintenance to reset (we've never gone down the 'punishment' path). In our learning, we deliberately avoided much of our previous kink ... bringing it out only occasionally as opportunity and need dictated. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It wasn't long before I realized, from reading back in blogs and communicating with fellow DD/ttwd bloggers, I was the odd woman out. For most of the community, just the idea or hint of the possibility of a spanking, was a delicious turn on ... I did not have the same reaction. However, what spanking did do for me, was reinforce the submissiveness in me ... especially those spankings that happened in the moment - spankings, instinctively delivered by Frank in response to a situation, or when they happened for discipline, had me instantly submissive ... the feeling washing over me and settling into the very centre of me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Earlier this year, as I struggled through the SADS of winter, no matter what we tried, spanking did not seem to bring the release or reset I needed. Frank finally resorted to bringing us back into the D/s world. In doing so, we realized we were missing what we'd had previously and we began to re-layer our D/s dynamic and kink on top of our DD foundation. Erotic impact play, which to me is more than spanking, is back with us. However, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the various other types DD/ttwd </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">spankings have somewhat taken a backseat to our new activities ... except for one ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... so how do I feel about spanking now ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had an incident a week or so ago which brought clarity and gave me an answer to my self posed question. Per our <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/p/our-ttwddd-agreement.html" target="_blank">DD agreement</a>, Frank is the final decision maker in just about everything in our life, except for finances, which has always been my area of responsibility. A financial situation arose that caused us to have a conversation that got a little heated ... pretty much an argument. Fortunately, it was quickly resolved and an agreement was reached. However, afterwards, I felt uneasy, uncomfortable and soon realized it was our disagreement that caused the discomfort ... not the subject matter of the dispute but the fact the dispute occurred at all. I realized it had been a very long time since there had been any real conflict between Frank and I. Later in the day, I shared this with Frank ... he assured me he completely understood the decision we'd made. I then tried to explain to him that I was upset because we'd had a conflict - period - not what the conflict was about. He was a bit baffled until we had bedtime conversation later that night, where I explained ... if it had been any other topic, it wouldn't have got to a heated argument stage. I'd have been over knee, bed or whatever, getting my ass whooped, before we ever got to that point ... in conclusion I said "I should have asked you to spank me afterwards" ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">With this incident I've come to realize just how important our foundation of Domestic Discipline is to our D/s relationship ... and therefore so is spanking ... spanking adds structure, discipline and the ability to wipe a slate clean. It reinforces our dynamic, including our D/s relationship - </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">he is my Dominant yet he is still my <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/p/ttwd-glossary.html" target="_blank">HoH</a>. I still am his <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/p/ttwd-glossary.html" target="_blank">TiH</a> ... and his submissive. Without spanking, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">our TTWD wouldn't exist. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've gone back and reread the Domestic Discipline definition that resonates with me the most ... an excerpt from this definition reads ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"DD is the caring, consensual, consistently fair use of structure, accountability and discipline as a positive way to enhance communication, deepen intimacy and reinforce relationship commitment. The discipline normally includes one of many styles of disciplinary actions or measures, but first centres around rules of behaviour asked for by one partner and agreed to by the other." </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... and spanking is the most commonly used disciplinary measure.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/" rel="nofollow" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank" title="tellmeabout"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b><img alt="tellmeabout" src="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Tell-Me-About-1-e1550433907309.png" style="border: none;" /></b></i></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>to see what other bloggers have to say about Spanking, click on the badge or follow the links at the start of the post</i></span></td></tr>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-81858013560774787992019-05-07T22:25:00.000-07:002019-05-07T22:25:00.251-07:00Eyes On Me ...<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DhftOkf6Cyc/XJxIxbl868I/AAAAAAAABWA/9r11kPdACQI3YjPqTxAkaeb0HUKogOAbgCLcBGAs/s1600/eyeb%2526w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="289" data-original-width="450" height="205" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DhftOkf6Cyc/XJxIxbl868I/AAAAAAAABWA/9r11kPdACQI3YjPqTxAkaeb0HUKogOAbgCLcBGAs/s320/eyeb%2526w.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Aroused from the touching, tugging and stroking that happens during our <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-morning-ritual.html" target="_blank">morning ritual</a>, he instructs me to straddle him ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A large pillow behind me, between my calves and my thighs, raises me up so I am in his sight ... all of me in his sight. He reaches back and pulls out the favoured vibrator, placing the flat head on my pubic bone ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Hold it" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wrap both hands around it - not daring to turn it on ... waiting for the next instruction ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He reaches out a forefinger, pushing down on my chin ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Open your mouth .... and leave it open ... don't close it or I will spank you" ... he warns softly ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My mouth gapes ... it is a favoured instruction of his ... one that always leaves me feeling awkward and vulnerable ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He reaches out and turns the vibrator to full, my hips jerking up to meet the pulsations. I close my eyes and throw my head back in response ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Eyes on me, Babygirl ... open your eyes"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I want to keep them closed, so as to revel in the sensations racing through me, but I open them, looking straight into his grey/green eyes ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Do not close your eyes ... if you close your eyes, I will spank you hard ... look at me ... look right at me"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">..."and do .. not .. come"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why is it those three little words, amp up the need, my need to do what I am told I can't, all the while having to keep mouth and eyes open ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My internal muscles, from the floor of my pelvis up, clench at the nothing that is there, driving me higher, while my mind tries to tamp it all down ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... I need to wait ... I need to wait ... </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I need to wait ... </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">but I can't ... so I beg ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Please, please, please, please, Sir, may I come" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's what he's been waiting for ... the timing just right, as he sends me over the edge with his words ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Come for me, Baby" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.... and I do ... </span></div>
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<a href="http://wickedwednesday.rebelsnotes.com/" title="Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked"><img alt="Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked" src="https://rebelsnotes.com/wickedwednesday/wp-content/uploads//2014/05/rainbowcircle1-150.png" style="border: none;" title="Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked" /></a></div>
NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-17930236225037304402019-05-04T23:00:00.000-07:002019-05-05T10:18:58.857-07:00Talk About Orgasms ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Blogger, Brigit Delaney, host of the <a href="https://brigitdelaney.com/erotic-journal-challenge/" target="_blank">Erotic Journal meme</a>, posted a Reader's Forum question last week ... "<a href="https://brigitdelaney.com/2019/05/readers-forum-do-you-use-orgasm-control/" target="_blank">Do You Use Orgasm Control</a>". I had a couple of draft posts related to this topic in my files so I figured it was a good time to dig into what this means for Frank and I.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">First some tech notes :>)) ... because not everyone out there in Blogland will be in the know ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What is <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm_control" target="_blank">Orgasm Control</a>? ... overall, it means a Dominant permits or denies a submissive's orgasm(s) as he/she sees fit. It can mean 'edging' ... which is being brought close to 'the edge' of an orgasm and then being held there for a period of time. If it is an extended period of time, the result may be a euphoric sensation, often referred to as 'subspace'. It can mean orgasm denial - denial in the moment of orgasmic arousal, or denial over a period of time - days, weeks, etc ... or denial of any self pleasure. It can also involve 'forced' orgasms, which is the continuation of stimulation post an orgasm, bringing the submissive to one or more additional orgasms, over which they have no control. Forced orgasms may also result in the euphoria of subspace.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Regarding orgasm denial over an extended period time ... not a lot of point there for us ... we are both of the age where 'use it or lose it' is a priority ... more sex begets more sex ... if we were to leave it for too long, for sure my fickle libido would head south.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And forced orgasms ... I doubt that's ever happening for us - I am happy for one orgasm and although there have been a couple of times Frank has dipped into his bag of magic tricks and made one more happen, the end result for me is a second is not as good as the first and I'd rather have one good than more not so good. And on that note ... I elaborated on my orgasmic challenges in a post last year called <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/10/frustrated.html" target="_blank">Frustrated</a> - however, after our <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2019/03/a-reset-of-clocks-and-me.html" target="_blank">D/s reset</a> of a couple of months ago and our subsequent return to our D/s roots and an increased focus on our kink, I am happy to report my libido has since returned, as have my orgasmic abilities. As Frank commented recently ... "you have your mojo back" ... ha! ... yes, Sir, I do!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For Frank and I ... our orgasm control experience is more of the 'edging' and 'denial' variety. Frank will bring me to the edge and then deny orgasm in the moment, until he decides to give me the go ahead. I've never reached subspace ... but amazing orgasms? ... hell yes!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And finally, for Frank ... a phenomenon of a somewhat unexplained variety, has emerged. With his own physical needs diminishing (a combination of his age and the fact he is 14 years post a prostatectomy), more and more, he finds my pleasure is his pleasure ... he says he loves to watch me 'come alive' :>))</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Take what happened a few weeks ago … sated from an intense D/s session, I was sprawled across his chest, recovering, when I kinda muttered something like …</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"and what can I do for you, Sir" … to which he responded ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"nothing, I already came" </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... my head popped up …</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"what do you mean?!" …</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He said he had what he could only describe as a mind orgasm … he felt a charged euphoria which he described as an adrenaline rush (but perhaps more likely was an endorphin rush), plus orgasmic sensations, through assisting and watching me achieve orgasm. A D/s blogger friend has suggested it might be something called 'Top Space' or '<a href="https://dominantguide.com/2312/dom-space-is-that-a-thing" target="_blank">Dom Space</a>' ... more research is required :>)) ... but the concept is mind-blowing in more ways than one ... </span></div>
<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-39384699837385914612019-04-28T11:00:00.000-07:002019-04-28T11:00:05.666-07:00Early morning leaving ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is very rare that Frank and I are ever apart ... at least for any length of time. He doesn't like it when I have to go away and I don't like going away without him ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, I am off to the city early tomorrow for a few days ... appointments and get togethers with old friends and family ... someone has to stay home to 'mind the farm' and that is him ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am sure he'll have me leaving with a few 'reminders' :>) to make sure I have him in my mind and submissive heart .... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.... and I look forward to the best part of going away ... coming home to him ... </span></div>
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<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-73382818212405209562019-04-23T23:00:00.000-07:002019-04-25T17:42:49.608-07:00Rules to live by ... or not ... <br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/04/14/tell-me-about-rules-6/" target="_blank">Tell Me About Dominance and Submission - #6 - <b>Rules</b></a></span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What Rules do you have and why? What happens if you break a rule and what are the rewards for sticking to them? Perhaps you have elements of DD (domestic discipline) to your relationship and so Rules play a particularly important part. Whether you are Dominant or submissive we would encourage you to share your thoughts and experience on Rules and how they form part of your dynamic, and possibly, your lifestyle."</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have been writing this post off and on for a couple of weeks now ... when I saw the topic my first thought was this one should be a no brainer. We've just been through a year plus of introducing DD to our dynamic which means we have a fairly fresh point of view to the creating and living with rules. However as I started to gather my thoughts I realized the post could take many turns. Every time I'd sit down to write, I found I ended up with snippet of this view or that. I was having trouble pulling it all together ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought I could talk about first dipping our toes into the land of DD and rules, and how I/we felt about it all. However, I've already written that post. It was the second post I put up for this blog after it's creation last year, when rules and the following of rules were the immediate focus of our relationship. The post is called "<a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/02/colouring-inside-lines.html" target="_blank">Colouring Inside the Lines</a>" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I also thought I might talk about what it took to move from a no rules life into a Domestic Discipline relationship, a dynamic which is very much about rules, and discipline as the consequence for breaking rules (the discipline in our case, is mostly spanking with the occasional time out). We took our time, did our research which we followed up with talking, negotiating and agreeing. The outcome of that work is a framework which can be found on our "<a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/p/our-ttwddd-agreement.html" target="_blank">Our DD Agreement</a>" page at the top of this blog ... all still very much a valid part of our life today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of the things I am trying to understand now, with our shift to a more D/s focus in our life, is how the rules and consequences might differ in a D/s lifestyle versus a DD lifestyle ... will there be any difference from what we already have in place ... I don't think so other than I suspect Frank may look to add rules that are more sexual in nature. I also don't think there will be any huge difference in consequences. Frank loves to spank and I'm not keen on non erotic spankings so they remain an effective deterrent ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Top of mind is how my thinking about rules has changed. In some of my reading about D/s lifestyles, two books brought home similar messages ... a person cannot make another person do anything ... the choice to do what is asked, lies within the subjected person. Their options may be limited or expanded, or potential consequences may be imposed, but the ultimate choice to do what is asked still lies with the person who is expected to do the act. I've realized this is a key point for me. We have task type rules put in place at the beginning, which are hardly ever talked about now ... they have become habit for me ... I just do them. However, I have come to realize, as I do them, I am consciously making the choice to do whatever task it is ... I've noticed I am fully aware I am doing the task for Frank, because it's what he has asked of me ... and every time I do each and every one, the doing ignites my submission. Lately, I've also find myself looking to provide service for him ... unasked for service and the doing of that service also brings about a submissive mindset, which I call my submissive heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I had gathered all of these thoughts and was attempting to bring it all together, when, as often happens, Frank tipped things over and in doing so, brought in yet another perspective ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There was a little incident last week that highlighted a potential dilemma ... 'what happens when your Dominant or HoH decides to implement a rule that you really don't think you can abide by' ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">From early on last year, it became evident there was a little something that Frank wanted to make a rule but didn't only because he knows I have strong negative feelings about it. He still has not gone there ... as yet ... but I am sure it is only a matter of time. In the big scheme of things, it really shouldn't be a big deal ... but for me it is ... Frank likes me to have polished finger nails ... yeah, yeah ... I can see the eye rolls ... really, Nora Jean ... what is the big deal about that. However, as I talked about it in another very early on post last year, called "<a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/02/not-girly-girl.html" target="_blank">Not a Girly Girl</a>", it's not something I've done throughout my life and therefore my proficiency in doing so is somewhat lacking. I was able to convince Frank to do it for me the last time he 'requested' my nails be done ... which I talked about in the post "<a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/11/whining.html" target="_blank">Whining</a>". However, he has since informed me that won't be happening again, saying "you should be able do it yourself ... other women don't seem to have an issue doing their nails" but he hasn't made a 'do your nails' request since that time, until the other day ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was just out of the bath when he came into the bathroom and instructed ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Sit on the edge of the tub, spread your legs and put your hands on your knees like this" ... his extended his hands palms down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I complied ... waiting, watching. He leaned back against the vanity and crossed his arms across his chest and looked intently at me. When he crosses his arms over his chest? ... that's a Frank 'tell' ... it means pay attention and listen ... I waited for what he had to say ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I know you have a busy day tomorrow and most likely the next day as well" ... his eyes swept over my hands and down to to my feet and back up ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... he continued to speak ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"On Friday you should have some free time ... I want you to do your nails, and your toes need doing as well"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My inner self sagged a bit ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"And if you don't do it ... I will spank you"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My inner self perked up and almost had me chiming ... "I'll take the spanking" ... when he added ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Fifty on each cheek with the bath brush"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fucking hell! ... not at all something I could manage ... so I replied as he expected ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Yes, Sir"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Friday by bedtime" ... he gave me one last look and departed with a "you can get dressed" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For the procrastinator in me, Friday seemed a long way off but before I knew it, Friday's supper was over and the evening was ahead of us. Frank settled in for some tv ... I headed off to get 'it' done and over with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The pedi part ... not an issue ... done and done. My left hand - passable ... my right hand - now the frustration sets in. It is said, building enough muscle memory to become proficient at something takes 10,000 hours of practice ... I don't have enough nail painting hours left in my lifetime to be able to get any better at doing right hand nails with my left hand. By the end, I was in a 'don't give a shit what it looks like' frame of mind. I put away all the 'gear' ... and headed back out to the living room and Frank. Fingers akimbo with drying nails, I flopped into my easy chair beside him. He glanced over ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What's wrong, NJ" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Nothing"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Really? ..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm fine" ... yeah, the classic female answer for 'piss off and leave me alone' ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I don't think so, and I'm not going to ask you again" (yes, being open and honest IS one of our rules which falls under the Honesty principle)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My temper flared, any hint of submission now out the window ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I fucking hate having to do my nails ... you know it and I don't understand why you continue to ask me to do it" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Silence .... and he didn't even turn to look at me ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I tried to turn my attention to the tv but after 15 minutes of no further talk or discussion, my guilt at being an ass got the better of me. I crawled into his lap, put my head in his shoulder and apologized. He patted my back, gave me a kiss and still said nothing. I went back to my own chair and nothing more was mentioned the rest of the evening.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When we went to bed, I was laying on my side as usual, waiting for him to get in and cuddle up for the usual spoon behind me. Instead I heard as he got into bed ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Turn around and look at me" ... I did. He had his head propped up on his hand and looking down at me, continued ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I know you don't like doing your nails. I knew you were not going to be happy about doing them. However, it was for me. It was me asking you to do something for me. I didn't care how they looked ... just having you do it, for me, was the important part. However, that aside ... you know what I am upset about now ..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">At this point I might have said "just spank me" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm not going to spank you ... when I ask you what is bothering you, we talk ... you don't push me away ... do you understand?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Yes, Sir" ... and with that we were soon snuggled in for the night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Next morning I was making the bed when Frank came over to me. He gestured for my hands, taking both of mine in his and examined my nails.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Very pretty ... I love it when you have pretty nails"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sigh! ... sometimes I just can't let things be ... because before I could check myself, out came ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Not only are you deaf, you are blind as well ... they look like crap!" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And with that ... Frank, his hand and my ass had a very long conversation, with me as an active listener. The lecture from the night before, along with some additional thoughts around disrespect and our agreement, were the main focus. When he was done, I was definitely done. He uprighted me, pulled me in for a hug and kiss (one of the best outcomes of a DD type discipline spanking is when it is over, all is forgiven and the guilt disappears with the glow of your bum) ... and said ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm not making you keeping your nails done a rule ... however, should you ever want to do something special for me, do your nails. You will make me a very happy man"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... cue squishy submissive heart ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... I still think it's going to become a rule ... now I have to figure out how I am going to deal with it when it does ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... this was a long one ... thanks for dropping by ... and sticking with it to the end 😊 ... nj </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/" rel="nofollow" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank" title="tellmeabout"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img alt="tellmeabout" height="200" src="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Tell-Me-About-1-e1550433907309.png" style="border: none;" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/04/14/tell-me-about-rules-6/" target="_blank">Tell Me About Dominance and Submission - #6 - <b style="text-align: start;">Rules</b></a></span></td></tr>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-2535708334878983272019-04-20T22:00:00.000-07:002019-04-25T17:43:43.156-07:00Early Memories<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Writing Prompt from <a href="https://brigitdelaney.com/2019/04/the-erotic-journal-challenge-14-realization/" target="_blank">The Erotic Journal Challenge #14 <b>Realization</b></a> ...</span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Write about a moment of self-realization…one of those moments when you noticed suddenly that you liked something or wanted something that you weren’t expecting or that was new to you. This can be a moment of sexual self-realization, or any kind that is relevant to you"</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are times when I am envious of some of the couples we know here in Blogland ... couples, like Frank and I, similar in age, who were also high school sweethearts. However, unlike Frank and I, their initial sexual discoveries were with one another ... a special kind of start for a relationship, for sure. Special memories made and carried forward through the years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For me ... from a young age I was aware that touching myself 'down there' felt good. This early awareness was helped along by an older neighbourhood boy, who also touched me. I don't recall any feelings of hurt or fear ... only that he made me feel special and what he did felt good. I never told ... until I told Frank.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A couple of years later when I was around 9, a family of girls moved into the neighbourhood. Up until then I'd been the only girl in a pack of boys. The middle girl, a year older than me, and I became fast friends. It was she who introduced me to the ubiquitous childhood game of 'Doctor' ... with me almost always the patient. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I was 11, an older, out of town, cousin by marriage, introduced me to the first erect penis I'd ever seen. I came upon him in full glory, masturbating in his bunk at our grandmother's house. He invited me to touch. I did ... and I still recall today, what to me is the defining sensation of touching a hard cock ... a steeliness covered by silky skin ... and perhaps, given my then still tomboy status, there may have been a bit of penis envy as well :>). He and I would continue our sexual explorations with one another ... mostly casual touching ... well, mostly him touching me, over the next few years, whenever we were together due to summer family visits. This culminated in a full on secret affair (secret because we were 'cousins'), in the summer I was 15, when my brothers and I were sent to stay with his family while our Mom and Dad moved house and home to the big city. He was my first love ... I spent a very lonely first year in a new city, pining for him ... until <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/02/whence-we-came.html" target="_blank">I met and fell in love with Frank</a> a year later.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All of these childhood sexual experiences contributed to an early release of my sexuality. Although perhaps shocking to some who may be reading here now, if it weren't for my early sexual awareness and experience, I don't think Frank and I would have been a match. He was nearly 21 when we met and not only was he chronologically a man, he was also a man with sexual experience. For him, me being mature beyond my years, both socially and sexually, was part of the attraction. Without it, I'm not sure he'd have been interested. Sex was and still is today, very much part of who we are together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So fast forward to today. With our lifestyle changes in the past year and the increase in openness, trust and vulnerability this type of relationship brings about, Frank and I have been diving deeper into our sexual histories. We each knew bits and pieces but both of us have had further stories to share. He, like me, had early in life sexual experiences which I won't recount here as those are his stories. However, I will share, with one of his reveals, I now have a reason for an incident that occurred when we were first dating and an explanation for a behaviour he has exhibited for many years ... yes, also a realization. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In addition to sharing histories, we have also become more open about sharing and discovering our sexual fantasies - one would think after nearly 48 years together all would have been revealed by now but turns out that is not the case. In the past our bedroom D/s dynamic consisted of me giving myself over to Frank to do as he wished and/or understood my wishes to be. In hindsight, I was passively submissive - very different from the active submissive role I/we are working towards today. It is only with our rediscovery of our D/s relationship and me delving deeper into the blogworld of D/s couples in long term relationships, that I have been able to put words and descriptors to some of the fantasies I have had for years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of things we've talked about recently is role play. Given I am a crap actor and Frank doesn't think of himself as much better (although I'd beg to differ), it's not something we've done a lot of other than from a dress up costume perspective (me). We had been talking about something in particular over the course of a couple of weeks and finally decided to give it a try. The other night, Frank had me take a bath, gave specific instructions as to my attire and then he set the scene. I won't go into details, except to say it pushed all my erotic embarrassment buttons and was hot! ... beyond hot! ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In our aftercare time of cuddle and talk, we gave each other an acting critique :>) ... turns out he is the better actor - good thing as he had the more demanding role. Although my role wasn't all that taxing on my non existent acting skills, apparently I made all the appropriate noises ... lol! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Later in our conversation, I also mused as to whether or not my passivity in my early childhood sexual experiences, was/is a contributing factor to my desire to have 'things done to me' and possibly a reason for my erotic embarrassment hot buttons. Frank agreed that my past experiences may very well be the underpinnings for these types of desires and perhaps part of my initial teenage and ongoing attraction to the world of BDSM ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Realizations ... lately, for us, there have been several ... discoveries and realizations ... nj</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zKzCrVQBUTY/XLvRZX3Pg8I/AAAAAAAABao/7vXwAHoNJrM94F7ItJSvGl5hYfDDMNUswCLcBGAs/s1600/pink-circle-hi.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zKzCrVQBUTY/XLvRZX3Pg8I/AAAAAAAABao/7vXwAHoNJrM94F7ItJSvGl5hYfDDMNUswCLcBGAs/s200/pink-circle-hi.png" title="Ther Erotic Journal Challenge #14" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://brigitdelaney.com/2019/04/the-erotic-journal-challenge-14-realization/" target="_blank">The Erotic Journal Challenge #14</a></td></tr>
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<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-3396789137665910992019-04-16T10:58:00.000-07:002019-04-25T17:44:18.091-07:00Sometimes it's the little things ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In spite of me putting up several posts in the past few weeks, we've just been through a month and a half where Frank and I have not had a lot of 'just us' time ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">March was a month of illness. First Frank with shingles which turned into ocular shingles ... nasty bit of business and at the same time he picked up a hard to shake cold/cough thingy ... which I in turn got a week or so later.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The month of April has been taken up with intensive family time, including me just coming off a 5 day stint full time grandsitting away from our home, while daughter and SiL went on vacation. I came home last night absolutely exhausted ... not that any of it was strenuous and our boys are not hard to look after. However, it's easy to forget what fulltime day to day parenting looks like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank tucked me into bed at 9 PM ... I of course then woke up at 4 AM ... 7 hrs sleep is my max. I was back to get boys off to school again this morning. When I got home, Frank was off to town to help a friend with some work ... as I walked into the kitchen, I found to a post-it stuck to the top of my laptop ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.... as only he can, he's made my day ... </span><br />
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<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-74214953042132134752019-04-13T00:00:00.000-07:002019-04-13T00:00:00.720-07:00Fair Warning ... <br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There is a change in the wind here in the blogging world of NJ and Frank so I thought it best I give my readers and fellow bloggers a heads up ... a fair warning, if you will ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of the first things I noticed when I landed as a reader here in Blogland, was the varied levels of intimacy with which the bloggers wrote. When writing about such intimate topics as spanking and sex, the writing seemed to go from one extreme to the other. When I became a blogger myself, I had to decide how intimate my own writing style was going to be. I struggled with this for some time and so did my newbie blogging pal, <a href="https://whenthestormwhisperstothewind.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Windy</a> ... we had quite a few email conversations about it all ... right down to us wondering how the use of profanity would fly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whenever I talked to experienced ttwd bloggers about it, the advice was "it's your blog, write as much or as little as you wish ... be yourself" ... and yes, I got that. I was absolutely planning on being as true to myself as I possibly could and I think I have been. However, say that as often as you will ... there still is an audience out there that cannot be ignored. I decided to err on the side of caution and keep my writing rating as PG as possible - given the subject matter at hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After a year of developing our DD dynamic, Frank and I have begun reconnecting with our D/s side, melding it even further with our DD dynamic. In doing so, we realize how meaningful our D/s side is to us - how much we've missed it. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This re-connection has found me exploring other areas of Blogland. I've found long time married D/s bloggers who write about </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">their lifestyles. Their stories have me as interested as I was when I found the DD blogging world. I've also found bloggers who have projects such as the <a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/" target="_blank">Tell Me About Dominance and Submission</a> ... projects that connect bloggers across blogland by gathering various posts by topic, across a spectrum of ttwd lifestyles. I have written a couple of posts for the Tell Me About project and I'm looking forward to exploring other linked blogging project opportunities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have been giving a lot of thought lately, as to what my new discoveries and any resulting changes in writing style or topics might mean for my blog. Frank and I enjoy this little corner of the Blogosphere and all the friends we have made here. I don't want to lose readers due to change and I don't want to lose the feeling of community we've found here. On the other hand we are all adventurous adults (or we wouldn't be here) who are perfectly capable of closing a page if we find something that isn't to our liking. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For myself, I have always viewed change as </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">a chance for renewal. With new horizons in sight, I feel I can let go of my self imposed PG filter, and paraphrasing the favourite caption above ... 'write like there's nobody watching' ... well, except maybe Frank :>)) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That said, if I do write something that is out of your comfort zone, I hope you will close that page but still open the next post. In between the serious and sexy, you can be sure there will be a post where Frank will say or do something totally off the wall and I will be on the floor laughing, as usual. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whatever direction we take our ttwd life, our sense of humour will always be a reminder to never take ourselves too seriously ... 😉</span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-86734208918242481932019-04-09T21:48:00.001-07:002019-04-09T21:48:50.005-07:00 .... not myself ... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Feeling disoriented ... of two minds ... there are days, like today, when I question what the eff it is we are we doing ... when the duality and duplicity of it all becomes too much ... it's these days when I feel I've lost my sense of self ... when I ask, where is the us that is Mom and Dad, Gramma and Grampa, the persons who volunteer in the community. Where am I ... the person who looks after her grandkids, works at and teaches her art, loves and laughs with family and friends ... sometimes I feel disappeared, or as if I have two heads ... one of which lives in an alternative universe, where friends and fellow bloggers also lead alternative lives, lives invisible to 'others', where I love to hang out and learn and share ... then there are days like today, when the stress of living a double life becomes too much ... I want to pull away, cut off the head of the dragon I've come to love and head off back to the land of normal, vanilla normal ... and leave it all behind ... </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the weekend, after a discomfiting day where I couldn't quite put a finger on what was wrong, I did a brain dump, resulting in the little blurb above. Then of course, a few hours later, in the wee hours of the morning, me, so being me, having turned it over and over in my head for hours, had to get up in the middle of the night to write the analysis ....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you've read here for awhile, you'll know I am open and honest, almost to a fault. So here's the deal ... the one and only thing that bothers me about our ttwd life, is the secrecy of it all ... nope, that's not quite right ... for over 20 yrs, there was no problem keeping our bedroom D/s a secret. It's expected you will keep your bedroom habits to yourself. Last year, when in we took our D/s, added some DD, made it our ttwd and then took it out of the bedroom and into our everyday life - the need to keep <i>that</i> a secret became an issue ... for me ... it doesn't bother Frank, btw. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The other layer of complication is I then came here to Blogland and began talking openly about it all which means, when you think about it, all of you out there know more about our personal life than anyone else we know. I've also on occasion, had to tell little white lies or lies of omission when it comes to the friendships I have behind the blog ... not something that comes easy to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And most difficult of all .... we have to keep our new life, which means so much to us, from those we love the most - our children (older adult children), with whom we've always openly shared the worst and best times of our lives. We now have to shut them out of a now important part of our life ... that being our ttwd life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">.... at times it doesn't sit well with me ... it becomes troubling ... difficult ... it creeps up on me and takes over ... like it did on Saturday ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Prompt #358 - Mental Health ... follow the badge link to see what others have to say ...</span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-19802597942483571112019-04-07T00:00:00.000-07:002019-04-07T02:33:10.210-07:00May I have a word ... <br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank and I grew our BDSM kink (emphasis on D/s) along with our longtime relationship. In the beginning, we read all the books available at the time (or more like I read and then talked to Frank about it all :>)) and yes, they all recommended safewords. However, with our naivete, and no easily accessible, supportive community to consult with, we didn't see a reason to go that route. As we saw it, safewords were for the other people - the hardcore kinky lifestyle people with contracts and such. For us, it wasn't a lifestyle. It was bedroom kink. We thought because we were open and honest in our communication and knew that anything could be stopped by one or the other at any time, all would be ok. However, as we gained experience and became older and wiser, a safeword was put in place. As I was writing this, I talked to Frank about it (because he has the better long term memory :>)) ... and neither of us recall it ever being used. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We adopted a stoplight (red, yellow, green) safeword strategy when we discovered and entered into a DD (Domestic Discipline) lifestyle ... why? because we were moving into uncharted territory. Yes, impact play has always been a part of what we do, but that only happens after I reach some level of sexual excitement. With a DD relationship, we realized there would be times when Frank would be spanking me when I was not aroused at all ... and initially, he would be doing so without any knowledge of my non aroused pain thresholds. He didn't want to 'hurt' me. He also wanted a way to gauge how I was doing. We soon discovered, while I do have a very high pain threshold when sexually aroused, it is much lower when I am not - yes, at those times, I can be a whiny sub :>)).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Since we began practicing a DD lifestyle a little over a year ago, we have only used Red twice and neither instance was any type of dramatic circumstance. The first time was during a spanking where I absolutely could not get my head in the game ... I had been feeling disconnected from the DD relationship and Frank was spanking for reset purposes. However, for the life of me, I could not submit and my mind went to 'just get me the hell out of here. I can't do this' and I called 'Red'. The second occurrence was when Frank was having to deliver a discipline spanking (as posted <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2019/02/a-discipline-spanking.html" target="_blank">here</a>). He does not spank in anger so although his moment of anger had passed, he was still greatly disappointed with my behaviour and warned me if he did spank, I was going to get a blistering. I told him to go ahead and I would use our safeword if and when needed. It was needed :>))</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Safety is a priority in any relationship where there is an element of risk ... be that mental, emotional or physical risk. No matter where you are on the kink continuum, if there is any chance of mental, emotional or physical distress, having a safeword strategy is the best way to ensure a safety net is in place. I've use the word strategy deliberately a couple of times here, as discussions should not only include the 'what is <u>our</u> safeword', they should also the whys and wherefores of it's use. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here's a link you're interested in other posts about <a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/03/31/tell-me-about-safewords/" target="_blank">Safewords</a>, or follow the badge below to go to the SWC's project Tell Me About Dominance and Submission.</span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-84383556673587334392019-04-03T00:00:00.000-07:002019-04-03T00:00:01.610-07:00Stop .... and Listen<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes it's the smallest of incidents that remind us how far we've come with 'this thing we do'. Such an incident happened this past weekend ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On Sunday evening, we dropped in at our daughter and SiL's as his parents (we'll call them the OGP's - the other grandparents) were visiting from out of town. Spring Break was over and Monday would be back to school and work for all. It would also mean Frank and I would resume assisting with the before and after school childcare. In conversation with 'the kids' (the adult kids), it had become apparent there were a couple of wrinkles in our normally smooth system, mostly to do with vehicle availability (due to age difference and other factors the three boys are in three different schools so bus and school drop offs and pick ups have to be coordinated).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank was sitting at the dining table with the OGP's. The adult kids were in and out of the open area kitchen/dining room, doing all things busy parents do the evening before a school and work day. I had come from the kitchen and was standing next to the table, facing Frank. The OGP's were sitting to my right and the kitchen was to my left. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can only surmise it was being in a social situation with casual acquaintances, faced with a logistics issue that had to be resolved before we left for home, plus my natural tendency to be a 'fixer', that caused me to be in full on </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">former</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">NJ mode, with nary a submissive thought in my head. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was soon busily 'telling' Frank how I thought things should unfold in the morning, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">when all of a sudden Frank spoke ... calmly, not loudly ... but there was no mistaking the tone ... it wasn't Dad Frank, it wasn't Grampa Frank or Friend Frank .... my forgotten submissive brain registered the tone immediately ... it was Dom Frank ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"You need to stop .. right now .. and listen" ...</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My brain halted, my spine straightened, my lips zipped. I didn't dare look left or right ... I know the tone <b><i>I</i></b> heard - what I didn't know was if the OGP's or the kids heard it the same way, or even if one or the other of the kids were still in their kitchen .... and I didn't want to know ... if I were to see some type of reaction in their faces, I wasn't sure how I would handle it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank continued speaking quietly to me, giving me his view of how we should proceed on Monday. I responded with ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"May I offer an alternative ...." (my brain added the 'Sir' but thankfully my mouth didn't follow suit!) ... still engaging directly with that face right in front of me - not looking left or right. He nodded and I gave him my view. However, he then went on to point out I had missed an important factor, and I then agreed his view of what we should do would work best. I quietly pulled up the chair beside him, sat down and we carried on with our visit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The craziest thing about all of this was how calm and centred I felt - both at the moment of his interruption, and in our subsequent quiet conversation. His stopping me with that sentence, in that tone, didn't make me upset or angry - quite the opposite. I know exactly how the NJ of the alternative universe we used to live in would have responded ... it may not have been a full on confrontation in the company of guests, but there certainly would have been a sense of indignation and possibly anger on my part, at him interrupting me like that in front of others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When we got home I noted Frank did a bit of a check in by asking if all was ok with me. I cheerily replied yes, I was doing just fine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.... and then a few hours later I had to write this post ... still at bit amazed at how it all went down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... nj</span></div>
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<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-44514853762439324882019-03-31T18:47:00.000-07:002019-04-01T13:07:55.391-07:00Did we miss something? ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There was a bit of an ahha moment here this weekend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have been reading here and there on a new favourite blog and came about a description of an erotic spanking ... one that was a half hour or so long, had a slow, long workup, ending in great pleasure ... sounding most delicious ... </span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">{<b>scrreeeech!!!</b> .....</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "eh!?? ... is that really you talking, self-proclaimed non spanko, Nora Jean?!" ...</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yeah, yeah ... I heard all of you out there in Blogland ... close your mouths, you're gonna let the flies in ... 😁</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I emailed the post link to Frank and read it out loud to him in bed the next morning. The post talked about the sweet spots, the warmup and leisurely getting there :>) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I said to Frank ... "I think we missed something ... I think we were so intent on getting the DD dynamic going and all the various types of spankiness around that, we forgot to experiment with the EROTIC SPANKING!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you've been here for awhile, you know Frank and know he's game on for any kind of spanking activity ... we talked a bit more about where we thought said sweet spots might be and I wondered if a longer, more gradual warm up might make a difference for me ... Frank isn't exactly all about the warm up, let me tell you!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I think I need to revisit those spanking books I bought last year ... can we talk about this again tomorrow?" .... I know, silly question to ask a spanko man ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So last night I did revisit my spanking book how to books ... eventually finding the one I was sure had the info we were looking for ... it is The Compleat Spanker written by Lady Green. Sure enough I found said sweet spot info ... complete with an anatomical diagram plus a section on Warmups. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This morning found us in bed, comparing my bum to said diagram </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">(geez! ... we are nutbars at times!) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">trying to figure out exactly where the fun stuff was all supposed to found ... I think we've got it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now for some experimentation. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If I can just get Frank to slow it all down and take his time and work things up more gradually ... maybe he can help me find the magic that you all talk about ... LOL!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'll keep you 'posted' ... nj</span></div>
<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-64894796129895031562019-03-23T23:00:00.000-07:002019-03-24T05:40:08.448-07:00... the ties that bind us ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I touched on bondage in my '<a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2019/03/a-reset-of-clocks-and-me.html" target="_blank">reset</a>' post a couple of weeks ago. Writing that got me thinking about from whence we came … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Bondage to us, means restraints … no fancy ropework happening here. We have used a number of restraint types over the years. Scarves and pantyhose … those were our first bonds - and I think we also had a pair of cheap handcuffs - complete with the fluffy red trim … very tacky :>) ... and very uncomfortable! All of it was just for fun … experimentations of the newly wed and newly bed. Other than what was in the erotic BDSM classics I read, we had no clue as to what we were doing - no idea there was a community of like minded people out in the world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I ‘came out’ to Frank over 20 years ago, letting him know I actually wanted to do more of what was in my now much wider kink library, we took our dynamic to a next level. However, there weren’t any ‘Sex Toys Are Us’ online shopping sites to found in that decade. Our choices were either to head to </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the bowels of sleezedom</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> in our </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">big city downtown and or go ‘across the line’ to the Dirty Books and More store (we lived in a town that bordered the US where the adult content laws were more relaxed). However, that also meant you had to figure out how to get your treasures back home across the border … both of those were no go options for us … therefore I became a bondage equipment DIY’er. You’d be surprised what you can do with a couple of quality leather skirts from the second hand store, a snap fastener kit plus various hardware rings and rope. Once Frank gave the thumbs up, all systems go, I turned into a cobbler … a very excited little cobbler I might add … the fruits of which were a set of soft leather ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, collar, a fur lined blindfold and our very first flogger - the last two still in use today. And so it began … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now we do shop online at the Sex Toys Are Us stores. We’ve replaced the leather cuffs with a set of soft fabric velcro closure ankle and wrist cuffs with attached ties … comfortable, simple to use, unobtrusive and easy to travel with. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And we also have what I call mind bondage … and that was the reference I made in the previous reset post. In that post I also commented that most of the bondage we do today is of the mental type. While writing this post, I dug a little deeper into trying to figure out why that has come into being … why do we not use physical bondage as much anymore. Adding more food for thought, our impromptu reset session was followed up with a formal planned session a couple of days later. In that session we did use physical restraints so now I could do a comparison … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">From a psychological perspective, both work for me. However, the mental bondage has an added edge … without physical bonds to hold me, the decision to hold position is mine to make … and making that decision to not move and to allow Frank to do as he wishes (and of course, deep down it is what I wish as well), deepens my feelings of surrender and submissiveness and intensifies my feelings of erotic embarrassment - one of my kinks (which also exists in the DD world as well … think ‘corner time’ or being told to take your pants down and bare yourself for a good old fashion spanking - embarrassing but oh so hot!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My thoughts about why mental versus physical bondage also went to how we play nowadays. It’s just us … unless there are family obligations during the day, we can do what we want, when we want, which means our BDSM sessions tend to be more spontaneous than planned. After a spontaneous start, nothing kills the mood more than having to listen to someone dig around in the toy drawer for the bondage gear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So with all of these thoughts in mind for a post, Frank and I sat down a couple of days ago in the late afternoon for one of our ‘chats’ … I was excited to share thoughts about our recent reaffirmations of our kink and talk over the topic for this planned post. When I got to the part about the differences between mental and physical bondage, and my corresponding theory re why there is less physical bondage in our play now, he nodded in agreement. However, after a moment, he sat back in his chair, grinned a smirky little smile with his eyebrow quirked and said … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Do you want me to tell you the real reason I hardly ever tie you up anymore”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Of course” … I replied … looking forward to a philosophical discussion. However, my always pragmatic man, came back with this … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“You whine too much” … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I burst out laughing … “Seriously!?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Yes, seriously ... more often than not, when I tie you up, there is some type of complaint about comfort … that’s hurting my hips, my shoulder hurts, it’s too tight. The way I look at it, if I can get you where and how I want you with my voice and few words, why not go with that.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now I really am laughing … and I admit ... he is right … when I think about it, I am a bit of a whiny sub at times … but in my defence, I am also not as supple as I once was ... lol! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I guess this means mind bondage will be the mainstay of our future. I'm sure we'll still have the occasional 'tie me up' session but now I'll try to remember to not complain too much 😊</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So that’s how the B for Bondage in BDSM rolls in the Cawder household … it's been a very long time since we were wide eyed, kinky neophytes but what we do and how we do it works for us … and the recent addition of DD/ttwd and the change to a 24/7 lifestyle has brought a renewal into our D/s relationship. After all those years of operating on our own, it feels good to have a community out there, a community we can learn from, a community who gets our kink and with whom we can share the sometimes serious and sometimes funny sides of our D/s/DD/ttwd life …. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thanks as always for dropping by … nj & Frank</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ... if this little foray of mine into the world of BDSM has you wanting to read more, you can use the 'badge' below to visit the SafewordD/s Club's <b><i>Tell Me About ... Dominance and Submission</i></b> project. There are several 'Tell Me About ...' topics found there, the current one being <a href="https://tellmeabout.thesafewordsclub.com/2019/03/17/tell-me-about-bondage-4" target="_blank">Bondage</a> (hence this post) and I am told there is one coming up later for ... drumrollll please! ... <b><span style="color: #f9cb9c;">Spanking</span> </b>... so stay tuned!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">you might also want to visit the blogs of the club's co-creators, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://submissy.com/" target="_blank">Missy</a> and her hubby, <a href="https://hislordshipuk.com/" target="_blank">His Lordship</a></span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-24637627709503473372019-03-20T12:54:00.000-07:002019-03-20T12:54:11.481-07:00A Simple Song of Submission<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">... with a nod to CD Reiss's book series titled </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Songs of Submission</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had the pleasure of a few hours of quiet, reflective time in the studio Sunday afternoon.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> It was just me, alone with my art and my thoughts, which turned to our ttwd/DD/D/s life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On Sunday, I was thinking about submission - my submission - and my sometimes lack of submission. P</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">rior to last week's <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2019/03/a-reset-of-clocks-and-me.html" target="_blank">reset</a>, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had been struggling to regain my submissive mindset. Now that it was back I knew I needed to be working actively to maintain it. As with many practices, it can be the littlest adjustments that make all the difference. I thought </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">how even the smallest, simplest acts of active submission, help to maintain my headspace. A perfect example of this was top of mind ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had gone for a walk in the morning ... it's been a few months since we walked regularly. The last of our old dogs died in October and our daily walking habit died with her. Although we keep talking about getting back to it, so far it hadn't happened. The past few days, I have been determined to make it so, which means it was on my Sunday to-do list. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought about how contented I was during our morning walk, pondering the differences in me, and our relationship, pre and post 2018</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">. Pre 2018, outside of our bedroom D/s dynamic, I was definitely not submissive. In considering our Sunday morning walk, I was pretty sure a pre 2018 version of our walk </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">(</span><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">in blue</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">would have been different from Sunday's version, both in tone and outcome </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ... </span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre 2018 NJ - "Let's go for a walk - we haven't walked in ages. We both need it. I'm going this morning - I think you should go with me"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2019 NJ - "I would like to go for a walk this morning. Do you want to go with me?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank is agreeable, so first thing, after we're up and about, we're off ... </span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre 2018 NJ</span></i><i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> - "We should walk the old route ... down the highway to the beach road and back along the beach, like we used to ... and walk walk, not doddle"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2019 NJ - "Which way would you like to go?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank is non committal (<span style="color: #45818e;">p</span><span style="color: #45818e;"><i style="color: black; font-family: Tinos; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">re 2018</span></i> this would have sparked a debate</span>), turning to walk left out of the driveway. He sets the direction and the pace ... I willingly follow at his side, although I have to admit, I am silently self admonishing, reminding myself to keep a submissive mindset and just go with the flow. </span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre 2018 NJ</span></i><i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> - I roar ahead, walking at what I deem the appropriate walking pace - expecting him to keep up (we're the same height but I have longer legs so I usually walk faster)</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2019 NJ - I match my pace to his - if it were a leisurely walk and a warmer temp, we would be holding hands but not this morning. He's forgotten gloves and has his hands in his pockets. I don't ask where we are going. I am 'leaning in' ... following, letting him take the lead.</span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre 2018 NJ </span></i><i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">- At the first junction ... "Let's go this way - up the hill"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2019 - At the first junction ... Frank avoids the hill, heading up to the highway. Not my first choice but again, I remind myself to settle, submit and follow ... and when I let it all go, it feels so good to do so ... my mind quiets, knowing Frank has us and I allow </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">myself to just 'enjoy'.</span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre 2018 NJ </span></i><i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">- Highway walking was typically done with the dogs, which means we are single file - a dog a piece.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2019 - No dogs. We are facing traffic and I am walking on his right. Ten paces down the highway, as traffic comes around the corner, he puts a hand around my waist, guiding me and asking me to move to the inside, to his left, leaving him walking on the outside beside traffic. I don't comment ... just smile to myself, appreciating that he is taking care of me. </span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre 2018 NJ</span></i><i><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> - We hit the junction where we either go further down the highway or turn back into the neighbourhood. Frank wants to go back into the neighbourhood and I argue that we should go further, longer - that this hasn't been much of a walk ... if this scenario turned into a debate, Frank would most likely have won, however, the dialogue itself would have created tension.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2019 - I am cognizant that this is a first walk. Frank has put a few lbs back on this winter and extra weight means his back can only take so much exercise at one time. Again, reminding myself to go with the flow, we head back into the neighbourhood and home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When we get home I check my walking app and show Frank that we've done 1 km - not a long walk, not a fast walk but a walk - which is all good if we can make it a habit - going further and faster with time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The next time I'm heading out to walk, I will ask Frank ... "Would you like to go for a walk with me?" ... I hope he says "yes" ... sometimes it's the simplest things that matter ... </span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-35316638074062451382019-03-13T00:00:00.000-07:002019-03-13T00:00:00.361-07:00A Reset ... of clocks and me ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My 'feeling sorry for myself' post and the often annoying semi annual time change, both happened this past weekend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sunday night I was still in a funk and marched myself off to bed early, only to awaken around 2:30 AM (my long time insomnia issue has finally abated so thankfully this is no longer a regular occurrence). I laid there for an hour, gave up, opened my ipad, futzed around online for 30 mins or so, gave sleep another go, only to not succeed and consequently, do a rinse and repeat until nearly 6 AM. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After finally falling back to sleep I was awoken by Frank leaping out of bed with a, "crap!, it's 8:30 - chickens needed to be let out" and then him asking me why I'd let him sleep in, not realizing I was still asleep (I'm usually the first awake). By the time he was out at the hen house he realized that there is no clock reset for the chickens and they were wondering why he was getting them up a half hour early ... haha! ... the life of a chicken farmer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was just as well we awoke when we did as I now had to hurry and take myself to town to exercise class. Although I wasn't in a bad mood when I got home, I was in a quiet, introspective mood. I silently ate my breakfast, Frank reading at the table with me. Finally, after I was finished eating, he reached his hand out and took mine ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"How are you doing today?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"You seemed a little cranky this morning - sorry, I didn't realize you hadn't slept"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I didn't mean to be cranky - I was just tired"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He lifted my chin to look at him and instructed ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Go take your pants off and lay over the bed"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I sighed - but he gave me his "I mean business, no nonsense" look, so I complied. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A few minutes later he joined me in the bedroom and proceeded to take off the rest of my clothes. Without a word, he began spanking - 10 sharp spanks - 5 on each cheek. Then he pulled me up, pulled the bedclothes back and motioned for me to get into the bed. Pulling the covers up and around me, tucking them in, he said ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I want you to stay in bed and get some rest" ... he kissed me and then left, closing the door behind him. I fell asleep in a matter of minutes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I woke up not knowing how long I'd slept but was feeling much more refreshed. I debated with myself if I should just get up and get dressed or if should I ask permission ... I decided to ask ... opening the door a crack, peeking out ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Ok if I get up now?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Nooo ... get back to bed" was the response ... however, I had to make a slight detour on my way back to bed, which meant I was coming out of the bathroom when he came to the bedroom. Leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe, arms crossed, he asked ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Why are you up? ... it's only been 30 minutes"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Laughing, I replied ... "I had to pee ... but really, I feel like I've slept much longer"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Well back to bed you go ... "</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I climbed back into bed, expecting him to tuck me back in again but he climbed in behind me. Turning me around so he was up against my back, he pulled me into him, laying quietly for a few minutes. Then he nuzzled into my neck, whispering ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I want to play with you" ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So just some clarification ... for us 'play' doesn't mean 'play' in the fun, horsing around sense ... to us it has a much more serious connotation. This was Frank telling me he wanted a D/s session - something we had not had for quite a long while. It was Frank asking for my consent to proceed ... and I gave it ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Out came the big flogger, nipple cups, dildo, and a couple of my favourite vibrators. Twenty years ago, leather cuffs, ropes and ties were very exciting. Nowadays, there is no longer a need or want for physical bondage ... we have what I think of as mind bondage. When Franks instructs me as to what position he wants me in and tells me to stay there or else ... I do as I am told ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was a amazingly hot, early afternoon interlude! ... and exactly the reset I needed ... </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I may not be a spanko ... but rest assured, I am definitely an old kinkster! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And today I feel like me again ... the blues gone ... my head back in the game, with my dominant man by my side ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... thank-you, as always, for dropping by! ... nj and Frank</span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-65681756265034217482019-03-10T11:39:00.001-07:002019-03-10T19:09:04.631-07:00Spring Cleaning ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... the tradition of thoroughly cleaning a house in the Springtime. Depending on which version speaks to you, it is said Spring Cleaning has it's origins in the religious traditions of getting ready for Passover or alternatively, it is simply a tradition, typically followed by those living in colder climates, who with the arrival of warmer weather, welcome the ability to open the doors and clean away the detritus of winter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In our household, since we both hate housework, there is no big ritual or undertaking here to observe the arrival of Spring by cleaning house. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, it is a time when we consider chores such as window cleaning, deck sweeping, shooing the spiders back outside (did you know spiders come indoors in the Fall, <a href="https://www.cheknews.ca/spider-season-is-here-and-it-means-male-arachnids-are-looking-for-love-489253" target="_blank">looking for love</a> :>)) ... and the outdoor Spring requirements of looking after over an acre of property.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This year, I am undertaking a Spring Cleaning of the metaphorical kind ... a cleaning of the cobwebs of my mind. Unlike the last two years, where I had the excitement of sexual and relationship revolutions to carry me through into Spring, this year that excitement is missing - I have been hit with the Winter blues yet again ... Frank has been hit with Shingles (get your vaccinations folks!) ... and between the two of us it's been a quiet transition into March. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, as of this week, I have decided I can't always rely on Frank to make it better - the last spanking session we had hardly registered - well it registered on my ass and I have the marks to prove it but it did nothing for my mind :>) ... I have decided I need to take some responsibility for my emotional well being. I've started by going back to revisit some of my old self motivational audio files, undertaking some new <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Better-Sex-Through-Mindfulness-Cultivate-ebook/dp/B079K4JRBF" target="_blank">mindful meditation exercises</a> (that *&^%ing <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/05/our-fsog-story.html" target="_blank">Lola Libido</a> better get her ass back from whatever sunny climes vacation she's been on!) and working hard at finding my submissive self ... yup, it's time for Spring Cleaning, nj style! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hope the 'almost upon us' advent of Spring has you excited about new paths ... and some spanky fun in the sun!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">thanks for dropping by! ... nj and Frank</span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-62872759295046817532019-02-22T09:00:00.000-08:002019-02-22T09:00:01.282-08:00Frank's Version of FFF<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... here's a quickie post to end the week ... with a nod to <a href="http://fondles.blogspot.com/p/fit-for-friday.html" target="_blank">Fondles' FFF group</a> ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We've had a prosperous winter, weight wise 😉 ... both of us gaining back what we'd lost last year through watching our diet, keeping busy and exercising ... in reality, the weight gain was a few months in the making but it seemed to come back overnight. As of last month we are back to watching what we eat and promising ourselves that we will get back to regular exercise 'soon' ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... yesterday, Frank was up and about in the bathroom, getting dressed to head out to do chicken chores. I heard the rattle of the scales being dragged across the tile floor, a pause and then ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"hmmmphff! ... it looks like there were no overnight miracles" ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... I burst out laughing ... especially when he continued ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "I thought maybe, since we have the Tooth Fairy who collects teeth, a Fat Fairy might have shown up overnight to do a fat collection" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... at which point I almost fell out of bed laughing ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy Friday everyone! ... nj </span></div>
<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-14075002727563501242019-02-18T00:00:00.000-08:002019-02-18T00:00:04.892-08:00A Discipline Spanking<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Everything has been going along fairly smoothly here after we returned our focus to our <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/p/our-ttwddd-agreement.html" target="_blank">DD agreement</a> in early January. We got by my minor health issue which meant, much to Frank's enjoyment 😊, spanking resumed - mostly for fun or minor infractions. Then, as we now know tends to happen, we hit a slight bump in the road. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For the past month we've had the grandboys almost every weekday while our daughter works on a special project. That has me up early to get them off to school and has at least one, two or all three of them at our house after school, plus one or the other of us is running them here and there to their extracurricular activities. I am NOT complaining ... just explaining. We do realize how lucky we are as we know several people who would give anything just to have grandchildren, or others who would love to live in the same town or city as their grandchildren. We do appreciate having time with our boys while they, and we, are young enough to enjoy it. However, our days can get quite busy, often tiring and as a result I can, on occasion, get cranky, snippy or reactive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Frank is also hard of hearing ... and yes, he has hearing aids but he often forgets to wear them. I am also slightly hard of hearing ... which makes for a bit of gong show when we try to talk back and forth when we are not in the same room. The eldest grandson was amusedly translating for us one day which had us both laughing. However, on this day, it was not amusing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought I had explained a schedule adjustment to Frank. He somehow missed or misunderstood the explanation which lead to him not doing what was expected. I might have lit into him just a tad with nary a submissive thought or tone in sight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Once the kids had departed for the day, we settled into our easy chairs for an adult beverage and a read. However, I sensed Frank was not happy ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Are you mad at me?" ... I asked ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... a pause ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Well I am not happy with you" ... another pause ... "yes, I am angry ... you do not get to talk to me that way"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm sorry but you were just not getting it - I didn't mean it the way it sounded"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"and that is exactly the problem ... it isn't <b><span style="color: lime;">what</span> </b>you say. It's how you say it"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Well, then just spank me already!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I shouldn't have to spank you! ... we have an agreement. You should be living up to that agreement ... and you know I don't spank when I am angry"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Okay, now I'm confused. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What?! I don't get it" (meaning I don't get the 'I should be living up to the agreement', not the no spank in anger part) ... "if there is a line crossed or you have an issue with my behaviour, then we've agreed you can spank"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, in what sounds like exasperation, he tells me to go to the bedroom, take down my pants and panties and get over the bed ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "and you are getting spanked with the shower brush!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ... whaaaat!? ... sheesh! - we've only given that a trial run and that was enough to know how deadly it is ... I head towards the bedroom and do as he says, telling myself I should have just kept my darn mouth shut! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hear him go to the bathroom - </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Where's the brush, NJ?" ... yikes! ... I might have slightly hidden it by hanging it under a towel ... I 'fess up and tell him where to find it ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He sits down beside me on the bed, half sitting with his left hip on the bed and then pulls me over and into him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "I'll give you a warm up"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I feel the back of the brush rubbing back and forth on my bum ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I thought you said I'd get a warm up" ... thinking I should be feeling his hand on my bum, not the brush ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"That was the warm up" ... he says as he starts in ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Ow!!, ow!!, ow!!" ....... </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">&*$%@! hell! ... that thing hurts!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After about 10 or so whacks he pulls me up to look at him. The man who never lectures starts in now ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He tells me does not like having to spank me for punishment/discipline ... that we we have our Honesty Respect Obedience agreement. I should be living up to it. He shouldn't have to do this. That it's one thing to spank for the day to day infractions where he is helping me and himself with the organization and smooth running of our household. When it concerns the big 'rules' that matter most ... he shouldn't have to do this and he hates having to do it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wooooboy! ... how to answer that one ... I take a big breath and give it a try, quietly explaining ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Maybe it will help if you look at it not as something you are doing 'to me' but something you are doing 'for me' ... if it helps me wind down, calm down, get centred, then it's a benefit, is it not?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Silence follows, as he considers my response ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"This is not going to be fun ... so you have to tell me when it's too much because I won't know if it is ... and by that I don't mean you saying 'enough! enough!' ..."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... gulp! ... "OK - if I have to, I'll use our safeword"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Really! ... what was I thinking! ... </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">back over I go ... and yes, I am a wimp so about 20 whacks (hard whacks) in it was time for me to call 'red' ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He pulled me up and into him ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Are you ok?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ... "yes", I responded quietly, trying to get my head tucked into his shoulder ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> .. he pulled back, hands on either side of my face, looking at me. He ran his thumbs under my eyes, wiping them ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... "Hmmm ... what have we here?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ... "They're not tears!", I said ... "my eyes are just watering"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We still haven't sorted out all the feelings/issues that arose out of this situation. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">From my perspective, when Frank acts 'in the moment', angry or not, with words or a spanking, my response is instant submission. I feel it in my heart and that feels 'truer' to me, than any spanking for a minor infraction of our day to day rules. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, we've agreed ... more talk is needed ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... and PS ... that <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2019/01/product-warning.html" target="_blank">@#$%^& implement</a> definitely needs to be returned or burned! It is, for sure, a 'weapon of ass destruction' ... up there with the dreaded <a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/05/implements-what-implements.html" target="_blank">Triple P</a> ... five days later, Frank was still putting Arnica cream on my bruised bum!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... nj ... xx</span><br />
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-81002098422547720162019-02-14T15:19:00.000-08:002019-02-14T15:25:35.784-08:00A ttwd Valentine's Day ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We were up early, delivering our charges to their various drop off points this morning ... schools and buses. Frank is helping with the driving in our rather inclement weather ... snow?! ... really?! ... over two weeks without melting! ... unheard of! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Once done, we headed home to coffee and breakfast at which point Frank gave me a beautiful Valentine's card as he does every year. I had sent him a Valentine ecard earlier in the day as unfortunately, due to the weather conditions, I had not been able to get out shopping without him. Frank was tidying up the dishes when he turned to me and said ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I want you to go have a bath, shave everything bare and then wait for me, naked, on the bed" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He then proceeded to tell me, in his blunt way, what he planned to do with my naked body ... lol!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I got up from the table, went to him, hugged him and laughingly said ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"and a Happy Valentines to me!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... his counter was ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"and there may be some spanking involved as well"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I laughed again ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"and a Happy Valentine's to you then!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">With a swat to my bum he replied ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"go ... you've got 15 mins while I do chicken pens"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I went ... I did, he came back in ... he did ... then we did ... then he did ... and a Happy Valentine's Day was had in the Cawder household!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We wish all of you in ttwd Blogland, a Happy Valentine's Day ... and if you didn't have a special Valentine to spend the day with, then, I'm sending a extra big hug ... and a wish that you were able to be your own best Valentine ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... hugs! ... nj & Frank </span></div>
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<br />NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242290027075898457.post-78106519667594290272019-02-12T00:00:00.000-08:002019-02-12T08:49:36.264-08:00 A Year Ago ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hopefully I managed to get the blog changes done without messing anything up - and to start out fresh, I figured an anniversary event would make a good post with which to launch ... it's our first blogiversary :>))</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So how did I/we arrive here? .... on Feb 7th of last year, after I spent most of January delving into DD/ttwd Blogland ... and 10 days after I pulled Frank into my discoveries, I got up the courage to send a joint email to two bloggers whose blogs I had read end to end ... Ella (<a href="https://ellaeverafter0410.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Ella Ever After</a>) and Meredith (<a href="https://newtwistafteralltheseyears.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">New Twist After All These Years</a>). I had focused on their blogs because they and their spouses were close to us in age. They were also high school sweethearts as were we. The subject line of that first email was ... 'A Newbie Here, Waving :>))' ... and to my excitement and surprise they both responded the very next day. Welcoming and supportive are the first two words that come to mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Truth be told, I was a bit ahead of the game, having already started work on a private blog to use as our personal journal as we explored this DD/ttwd world. Once I'd admitted that fact and then shared a post I'd posted privately on (<a href="https://livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com/2018/02/whence-we-came.html" target="_blank">Feb 6, 2018</a>), they tag teamed me with encouragement and kind words. My thought at the time was Frank and I were too new to this DD/ttwd for me to be publicly blogging about it all and I should just keep on with the private blog version until we figured out where we were going. However, they both assured me I would fit right in and encouraged me to check the Public setting in my Blogger Dashboard. One year ago, on Feb 12th, 2018, I did just that, at the same time as both of them gave me a helping hand into Blogland with simultaneous announcements on both of their blogs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... so thank you again, Meredith and Ella - I couldn't have done it without you ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... and to all of you out there in Blogland, who've dropped by over the past year be it just to read, to provide supportive comments and suggestions, or to write behind the blog emails and offer friendship - thank you! ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Together you have given Frank and I a sense of belonging ... to this wonderful and supportive community in the ttwd corner of Blogland 💖</span></div>
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NoraJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.com30