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Tuesday, 22 January 2019

Product Warning ...

Attention: Product Manager
Discount Department Store

Dear Sir/Madame

On Jan 19th, 2019, my husband purchased the following product ...






I am writing to advise you I have determined, after just one use, this product should carry a warning that it could be dangerous if used in a manner for which it is not intended. If the back side of the flat hard wooden surface to which the washing bristles are affixed, is struck against a fleshy part of the body, it will cause a sharp stinging, burning sensation and deep reddening of the skin. If used in this manner after the skin has been softened in an environment for which this product is intended, the previously described affliction can be even more severe. 

I have advised my husband this product should be returned as defective but he says he is perfectly happy with its performance. However I am worried this alternative use may become more widespread and as such, appropriate action on your part, such as affixing a warning label, should be taken. 


Sincerely 

Nora Jean Cawder

35 comments:

  1. It is especially dangerous when used on a wet bottom after using it in the shower!

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    1. After a long hot bath, I'd call it 'roasted and toasted' ;)) ... thanks for dropping by, Glenmore ... nj

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  2. LOL!! Nora Jean - this is hilarious! There are few of our purchases I would like to return for sure. :) :) Thanks for the laugh. Hugs -- shell

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  3. LOL ....... LOL
    words fail me !!! LOL well put Nora Jean !!

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  4. Oh dear, NJ. That thing looks damn mean. We have a hairbrush that should carry such a warning as well. The only thing is that the bristle side of said implement is out of this freaking world when used in a sensual way on one's nipples. I have a real love/hate relationship with that brush.

    Consumer Products Testing by Ella

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    1. Frank has been looking for the perfect hairbrush about as long as he has been looking for a bath brush ... he hasn't found it so obviously has something specific in mind. I think this is plenty good enough for now :)) ... as for the alternative non bath function .... now that I'd be on board with :)) ... thanks for the tip, Ms Product Tester :) ... nj ... xx

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  5. Oh my, the dreaded bath brush! Frank really meant business after your trip. Harry has an equally defective pair of jam spoons he found in France, too far away to go back with a complaint.
    Rosie xx

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    1. Jam spoons? ... ok, now you have to post a pic, Ms Rosie ... to me jam spoons are little curved spoons that go in the jam jar ... and yes, he certainly did mean business ... nj ... xx

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    2. NJ, you can read about the jam spoons on my blog at https://rosiejones51.blogspot.com/2017/10/in-jam.html
      If I’ve messed that up, the post is called ‘In a Jam’ from October 2017. There is a photo, complete with dimensions of the horrid things!
      Rosie xx

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    3. Youchie youch!, Rosie! ... now I get it ... they are 'jam making' not 'jam eating' spoons ... lol! ... deadly weapons of ass destruction :>)) ... nj ... xx

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  6. Hahaha... and the acrylic ones are even worse! I say take it back, too - because while defective, it will never break!

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    1. I say no way to acrylic, PK ... altho' I said no way to the wooden bath brush as well and you can tell that didn't do me much good :)) ... nj

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  7. NJ,
    hahahaha I love this post! Boy, that thing looks dangerous! It looks thuddy, not stingy, but I will take your word for it as I do not want your HOH recommending that evil thing to my HOH. Love the creativity of this post. And now I know to never take a bath right before a spanking! GAH! Hugs, Windy

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    1. It's bamboo so not as heavy as it looks ... therefore stingy it is ... I'll get Frank to put in a good word with Storm and you can test it for yourself .... haha! ... nj ... xx

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  8. Perfect! Thanks for the laugh!

    Boo

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    1. You are welcome, Boo ... I'm always up for a good laugh ... even at my own expense :)) ... nj

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  9. LoL NJ, ooh ouch, the dreaded bath brush should definitely come with a warning!

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I'm guessing that's experience talking, Roz :))) ... nj ... xx

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  10. NJ, I'm absolutely overjoyed right now! Bertha has a twin! I do hope that you all enjoy (NOT) as much as Hoss does! Because I have a genuine love/hate relationship which verges more on the hate side of things with that wicked/blessed implement!

    --Baker

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    1. Well if they are twins they shouldn't be separated, Baker ... I should see what I can do about a reunion, as in send our BB your way ... nj

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    2. Oh, no, NJ, I think you are being way too generous. Sadly, I think the return policy is probably invalid at this time for your bath brush. I do think it would be a good idea to reunite the twins. I think you should have them though. Mine has been longing for a new home for way too long.
      --Baker

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  11. NJ,
    Sorry I am tardy commenting. We have a shorter version of that back brush that I use for my hair. I often leave it out on the counter and there it is so handy. The thud sound accompanies a sting of sorts and the fact it is so handy must really stop. Hide yours! Do not leave it out and available.
    Meredith

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    1. You are never too late, Meredith ... unfortunately Frank has a fondness for vanilla seeming items that can be left out and about without raising suspicion ... his old leather belt on top of his bedside table is another example. I'm pretty sure this new addition will have a similarly prominent resting spot ;))) ... nj ... xx

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  12. I am happy to report that we do not have a bath brush, and I hope that we never do! Good luck with this thing, hopefully Frank doesn’t enjoy too much!

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    1. Never say never, Laurel ;)) ... a few months ago I woukd have said we didn't have much in the way of implements ... unfortunately for me, the arsenal continues to grow ;))) ... nj

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  13. NJ this made me laugh. Uh oh I think your Hoh is getting into the swing of things and enjoying himself a bit too much. Burn the bath brush, save your tush.
    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Uhhhh .... swing of things is right, Lindy ... something about the physics of it having a long handle has me worried :)) ... nj

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  14. LOL Oh, all the warnings labels that would have to be made if we tihs had our way! LOL So many innocent items that find themselves viciously attacking our bottoms. If they came to life when we leave the room, I wonder the stories they'd tell. lol
    EsMay

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    1. LOL!, EsMay ... yes, the tales they could tell ... like a ttwd version of Toy Story ... nj

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  15. Very cute, Norajean, but mention of the product's alternative use might, very easily, become part of the company's advertising. Just saying. ;-)
    -Dev

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    1. Hi Dev ... and welcome! ... I sometimes think 'if only they knew' when it comes to product design and marketing ... lol! ... thanks for dropping by ... nj

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  16. Delightful! I love your sense of humor. Frank will enjoy looking to purchase other spanking implements, and maybe when out shopping you should also look and show him a possibility or two.
    bottoms up
    Red

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