Self Talk Lesson

I had to get the grand kiddos off to school one morning this week so was up and gone before Frank opened his eyes. When I got home he was at the dining table, having coffee and reading on his tablet. I had just sat down to join him with coffee in hand, exchanging good morning kisses, when he suddenly swung his tablet around towards me and pointed at it, asking in a serious tone ... "What's this all about?" 

... gulp! ... momentary panic ensued as I realized he's reading a blog that is not mine but someone else's, with a blog comment by me (the panic is because I worry one day I am going accidentally use real first names). However, a quick read assures me this isn't the case here. I reread the comment ... it's the one I made on Ella's 'Sitting Pretty' post a few weeks back. I had quipped how our men must be buying their rose coloured glasses at the same Men In Love shop.

"It's a comment I made on Ella's blog ... what are you fussed about?" .... however, I knew by now exactly where he was going with this ...

"What's this thing about rose coloured glasses and why are you having such a problem these days with how you look?" I got up and headed to the kitchen while he continued ... "You are a beautiful woman and always have been - I don't understand why you don't see that!" I scoffed and shrugged in response. I then explained that there are many women who have issues with self image but men on the other hand, never seem to notice it when their women change and somehow they still see them in the same way as as they did when they fell in love.

He replied ...  "Well, we've talked about this a few times lately ... you need to stop it or I'll be doing something about it."

So an aside here ... negative self image is a fairly 'new to me' issue as it is something that has come about as a result of aging. I definitely did not go gracefully into my 60's, accepting the all over sags, lines and wrinkles that I face in the mirror everyday. It seemed to happen overnight and I am still adjusting to it all. I say this to explain why Frank is so puzzled about it and why he is now adamant that it needs to stop.

I sat back down and we continued our morning reconnect, with a bit more chatter on this topic and others. I'm now getting a little sassy and teasing, trying to change his serious tone but he was having none of it ..."I'm not laughing .... you missed a spanking this morning and now I think you really need one" was his response ... yikes! ... but I continue to playfully poke him, trying to win him over ... not that I don't want a spanking but I'd rather have something fun than serious. Finally he'd had enough and I got the word ... "Spanking time .... go ... bend over the bed, pants down .... and leave the underwear on, those are mine to take off" .... ooookaaay! .... this is definitely not going to go in my favour!

I don't have the greatest of recall abilities when I'm fully in the midst of getting my butt whacked so I'll have to leave most of this part to your imagination but suffice to say my man's hand spanking technique (still pretty much all he uses at this point) has become much firmer and ouchier. I was definitely gripping my pillow and taking it when I heard "I am a beautiful, sexy woman" .... huh!? ... and then "Say (smack!) it (smack!)" .... really!? ... ok, ok, ok ... I'm getting the message and so I do ... say it, that is ... and even under duress, it's not an easy thing to say out loud. After a bit of rubbing and comfort, spanks commenced again and the same message was delivered and asked for again .... and by now he'd made his point loud and clear! ... after some more rubbing and comfort, Frank then demonstrated his take on the 'sexy woman' part which was then followed by some mutual loving to end the morning lesson.

Doing it 'Doggie Style'

Meh! ... the cold has caught me. I'm thankful it's not in my chest nor in my head. It's one I get ever so often. It sits right in the base of my throat, wrapping around my larynx, rasping and deepening my voice. When I used to work in the corporate world (primarily with men), my guys would tease me when I got this type of cold, calling it my 1-800-norajean voice.

Frank is fussing and doting on me .... bringing me tea and toast in bed this morning. I'm not really all that sick but he insists so I let him because that's how he loves me ...

All in all, I'm blogging this because it's a good excuse to share this caption I saw online this morning. Besides describing how I feel, it's a whole new take on those couple of words I love to hate .... ;>))

... doing it Doggie Style

... thanks for dropping by! ... nj

Mr Lingerie

I have mentioned in a previous post that Frank puts out the underwear he wants me to wear every day .... Well, I am here to tell you his obsession with all things frilly and lacy is a little more extensive than just choosing daily underwear. Frank has a lingerie fetish ... (and no ... I don't mean he's wearing my underwear ;)). I swear, if he had the budget and I had the closet space, we could open a fancy panties, etc, store of our own! He tells me he loves seeing me in lingerie because he's a visual kind of guy and the reason he picks out my underwear everyday is he likes to know in his head what I'm wearing underneath. 

One of the first signs of his obsession was very early in our relationship ... our first Christmas together. We weren't married yet but his parents and some of his siblings and families had recently moved to another city and my family went away for Christmas so we only had each other which meant I stayed at his apartment. I can't remember if we hung stockings or not but what I do remember, is waking up Christmas morning to half a dozen fancy, frilly bikini undies hanging in plain sight in the open closet ... like clothes on a line. Nothing ever embarrasses him ... It still makes me smile today, imagining him on his Christmas shopping spree, tromping through the department store lingerie section, picking out his favourites. 

A second memorable lingerie moment for him came about with my attendance, in the early 80's, at a then all the rage, home sales party (think Tupperware but with products more like what PK's Cassie found at the adult toy store). The products included lingerie and I bought a cute little black and purple corset with garters and stockings and a pair of long lacy gloves, which I surprised him by wearing at our annual anniversary hotel getaway. There were many more corsets and other exotic panties, teddies, garters and stockings etc, purchased over the years by me or him, but he will still tell me today, this one remains a favourite memory.

Fast forward to now ... I shop online for my underwear ... I'm not an off the rack kinda bra size and besides there aren't a lot of shopping choices where we live ... one is the W store, the one the Waltons own. The other is the Canadian chain store that sells a lot of men's work clothes. If you shop online you will know that the online stores will often send follow up sales emails. Guess who peruses these lingerie company emails when they arrive? ... pssst ... it's not me. From these, Frank often has suggestions as to what my next lingerie purchase should be and bless his heart, I often have to remind him to check the size limits of whatever has caught his eye, because his rose coloured, Man in Love, glasses have me in a way smaller size than I actually am. 

One of the first things he asked me to buy post our decision to go down the ttwd/DD road (besides the ouchy ping pong paddle) were what he called 'spanking panties' ... specifically he asked for boy shorts (the man knows his underwear!) ... the ones that don't quite cover your bum cheeks. Luckily the W store carries these (and pp paddles) so it was a one stop shop and no waiting for delivery. 

Pause here ... If you haven't noticed by now, I'm not an immediate 'get to the point' writer (or talker, for that matter :>)) ... so if this has been a bit of a meander for you, thanks for sticking with me and I am now getting to said point ... 

We are, at ~7 weeks and counting, still in the slow and learning phase of ttwd ... spankings, generally, are of the every day JFF (just for fun) variety. The other morning, JFF was OTK (gotta love all the acronyms :)) ... him sitting up on the bed, me over a pillow on his lap. It was a slow leisurely start when all of a sudden, ratatatatatatat!! .. a rapid fire, two handed smacking burned my butt! I swear if he wasn't holding me down I would have levitated off the bed .... I think I shrieked but he on the other hand, chuckled as he then rubbed my bum, commenting "now that's the colour I was looking for ... a nice rosy red" ...followed by ... "go put on _____ and stand and face the wall unit (closest thing to a corner in our bedroom) ... I need a visual for my day."

.... in conclusion ... not only is Frank a lingerie freako but I think this man of mine is the biggest spanking fan in our duo ... and for that, I do love him so!

Thanks for dropping by ... here's hoping there is Spring in the air, wherever you are (or for the 'downunders' ... another favourite season of mine, Fall) ... nj ... xx

Marching On ... remaining questions answered

The kiddos are home so I have handed off the grandboys and now have a glass of recovery medicine in hand and I'm ready to tackle the rest of your questions ...

As you may have noticed, I didn't quite understand the March Q&A protocol and answered some of the first questions that came my way in the comments of my Marching On post. Now I know the Q&A answers should be done as a post (or maybe more than one post - sorry ... this one is pretty long) ...

PK asked ... What is a wish you have for yourself that could really come true?

We both wish for .... a vacation ... a real vacation, just the two of us. Given we are retired, that sounds like it should be an easy wish but unfortunately, it's not. The last vacation we had was in 2011. We've had a couple annual 2-3 day getaways in intervening years. I also had a week away to NYC with a girlfriend three years ago, to celebrate my 60th birthday. Other than the getaways, Frank hasn't had any vacation time at all. Why, you ask? .... we made a pivotal decision 5 yrs ago, at the time not realizing the ramifications of said decision. Our faithful old dog died in 2011 at age 14. Later in 2012, Frank began making noise about getting a puppy ... I told him "no, no, no puppies allowed!" I suggested we instead adopt a senior rescue dog. He finally agreed. In early 2013, someone sent us info on a 7 yr old brother/sister pair of lab crosses who needed a home ... same breed as our old dog ... and we couldn't resist. Well ... the girl dog is a well behaved sweetheart who had some minor but now corrected issues. The boy dog is probably the reason they were in care and up for adoption. We love him dearly but we affectionately (and sometimes not so affectionately) call him our special needs child. He has a significant anxiety disorder that manifests itself in several ways. We have worked with a behavioural trainer and our vet over the years, to get it under control. He is better now but it is impossible to leave him with anyone but family and he has to be left at our house. And Frank occasionally reminds me ... "all I wanted was a puppy" :>(

Adding to this, Farmer Frank decided two years ago, since we couldn't go anywhere with the dog situation, we'd replenish our by then much diminished chicken flock .... sigh! ... so we sort of have a farm ... 2 dogs, 4 cats, a couple dozen chickens (including 3 chicks born 3 weeks ago), a rooster and a turkey ... and while I was writing this, he had the audacity to tell me there were ducklings available on our local swap n' shop page ... I may pay for it later but I gave him the raised eyebrow 'stink eye' and he promptly dropped the subject :)) 

Arranging for longer term care of said menagerie plus a distressed dog, is nearly impossible. Our kiddos help us so we can do the couple getaways a year but they work and can't do anything much longer than 2-3 days. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The old boy was diagnosed with cancer last month. When we discussed treatment with the vet, I told her we'd decided we were going with the  'spoil him until the end' treatment plan. As I said to her, it's not as if he's the happiest dog in the world. We don't know how much longer he will be with us but maybe next year, our vacation wish will come true! 

Baker asked  three questions:

The first .... what appeals most to you in this lifestyle? 

The dominance and submission aspect is what I find most appealing (I also asked Frank this question and without knowing my answer, he said the same thing). I talk about this in more detail in an earlier Spanko or not a Spanko post. We played, in the bedroom only, with the D/s dynamic for several years. For us it wasn't possible to take it out of the bedroom ... it was not a headspace I could relate to in everyday life. When I accidentally came across DD in a erotic novel a couple of months ago it immediately resonated with me as a way to carry the D/s dynamic into our everyday life  (and given my extensive erotic reading history, I was and still am, boggled I hadn't encountered DD before then).

And ... How long did you lurk before connecting with other bloggers? and How are you enjoying blogging so far?

I think I can answer both of these questions together. I didn't lurk long .... maybe a week in ttwd/DD blogland? I know I ordered the book that started all this the end of January. However, my sense of time ever since has been totally off - I feel like it's been a long time since we first found ttwd/DD but chronologically it's only been 6 or 7 weeks! 

I'd spent another week or so prior to finding ttwd/DD blogland, looking for all the DD info I could find and spent a fair bit of that time going thru the ADD (A Domestic Discipline Society) blog website with Frank (I brought DD to him a week or so after my initial discovery). I happened on Ami Strongsong's blog (alphabetically first on the list) on a list of blogs on the ADD site. I was then off and running, reading her blog end to end (and then onto Ella's and Meredith's blogs). I am not a stranger to blogging having had a blog in the vanilla world for several years so I set up my own with the intention of using it as as a journal. However when I realized there was a core network of practitioners blogging, I reached out 'behind the blog' to Meredith and Ella,  who in turn encouraged me to take my blog public. 

I am enjoying the blogging and hanging out with the other bloggers in this world - surprisingly to me, I interact with others here way more than I ever did with fellow bloggers in my other blog world. There is very much a community feel to it all. I do struggle a bit with finding topics as we are so green right now there isn't a huge amount of DD specific activities to write about. Most of the blog topics floating in my brain right now have to do with pivotal points in our intimate life and how those points have led us to this new path.

Jan asked two questions:

What is your favourite food?

Steak ... a good cut (filet, strip or rib eye), grilled medium rare on the BBQ ... with all the trimmings. We don't eat much red meat for health reasons plus Frank is not a big fan so I only get to have it once a month or so.

Do I have a favourite implement and a hated one?

I have two favourites ... a leather crop and a leather flogger. With several years of experience using both, Frank is pretty good a getting a rhythm going with either which makes for a very hypnotic and sensual session. For us, the flogger is more an 'all body' implement whereas the crop is spanking specific.

Hated ... ha! The answer to this has been a draft blog post for a few weeks as it is more explicit than anything I've written so far and I've been hesitant in going there ... 

So Jan, maybe thanks? for pushing me off the edge?? :>))... 

After Frank and I decided to give ttwd/DD a go, I was 'instructed' to pick up a ping pong bat (and Arnican cream per Ami in her blog ;)) . We'd read an implement evaluation on a website and the pp bat was rated 1 above the hand as a good starting point. Boy, someone was wrong in that evaluation or the bat(s) I got were of an entirely different construction. It was a play spanking as that seemed like a good place for us to start. I was in Frank's favourite position (elbows and knees or 'doggie-style' as is his preferred description, a description I hate and he will purposefully use it for that very reason :)). It was a very, very stingy paddling but I was so turned on, it didn't matter. In the end, as Frank described it, I went off like a rocket. However, when he rubbed my bum afterward, he said he could feel bumps (aka welts) and turned up the light for a closer inspection ... he was concerned ... very concerned ... me less so as I wasn't in any great pain. However, it was a bit mortifying when I did my own inspection the next day ... 2 black and blue marks the size of tennis balls around each of my sits bones area. Yikes! ... we decided then we'd stay away from ping pong until we had this implement spanking business figured out a bit more. It has not made a reappearance other than when the littlest junior kiddo found it during the new bed rearranging and I found him playing ping pong in the living room :))

Leigh Smith asked ... have you read any of my books and if so, which is your favorite?

No, Leigh, I'm sorry I have not as yet. I am a bit overwhelmed with the amount of potential reading I have available now -  between all the ttwd/DD blogs plus books within this 'new to me' genre (and as I am an avid reader this is all goodness). I do have a couple of your books on my Goodreads 'to be read' list ... Finding Home and the Dominant Cowboy collection (I admit to having a soft spot for Cowboys so am looking forward to reading them all ;))

Ronnie asked ... What's is the one favourite food you cook for hubby?

Fish ... anything fish but preferably halibut or salmon. I, on the other hand, am not a fish fan (shellfish, yes, finned fish, no). Fishing is one of Frank's favourite pastimes so we have a fairly well stocked freezer.

Roz asked ... What is your favourite movie? 

My favourite movie is an oldie I've watched many times ... Dirty Dancing. Not only was it a sweet love story, but I love watching dance, especially men who can dance. Patrick Swayze was an amazing professional dancer (as was his wife in real life). I  also love to dance as does Frank ... and he is a pretty good dancer. 

If you've never seen it, here's the final dance scene from Dirty Dancing ...

And that is a wrap, folks! ... Thank-you all for asking such great questions and thanks again for including me in the fun!

Marching on ...

No post this week as I am happily sitting on the sidelines watching the March Questions and Answers season roll by. I don't feel as if I've been around long enough to be an active participant but I am thoroughly enjoying what all of you have to say.