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Wednesday 20 June 2018

Gentle on My Mind ...

Yesterday was one of those days ... Frank was under the weather ... cold/cough ... I had the littlest little for the day and the other two before and after school. There was much to do and because Frank was ill, all of it was me working by myself or hanging with the children. 

Things had started to go sideways when, in the early morning hours of a sleepless night, I came across something online that bothered me. Throughout my day those niggly little thoughts ... er - mole hills ... starting pinging around my brain, morphing into mountains. By afternoon I couldn't get my brain to settle and the introspection showed. At one point Frank asked there was something wrong ... "No, I'm okay" was my response. And on (and on), I went.

Later in the evening, I was on our deck reading while Frank watched TV. I found myself several times reading the same page over and over. Even with the quiet of the rural evening and the offshore breeze wafting through our trees, I still couldn't wipe the pinging from my brain. Frank came to the door and caught me laid back in my chair looking at the sky. He tried again ...

 ... "Is there something bothering you, NJ" ... 

 ... "No, just thinking" ...

 He didn't press. 

We both headed for bed at the same time. I skootched into Frank. 

'Roll over' ... he said. I did. 

Resting his hand on my bum ... "Now ... tell me what's bothering you" ... his tone indicating he wasn't taking 'nothing' for an answer.

I spilled the beans ... gathering those mountains and breaking them back down into mole hills ... 

I had a lot to say. He listened ... offering a bit of advice here and there ... and then the biggest nugget of them all ... "wait until the morning ... things may look different by then"

After a few minutes, I turned to him ... "Thank-you for that ... for not letting me get away with holding things in"

He replied, with a kiss ... "You don't have to thank me, however, we agreed when we started this, we would not keep things from each other. You needed to tell me sooner what was bothering you - like when I asked you the first time"

I had a good night's sleep ... and he was right ... the world had righted itself by this morning ... 




Thanks again for dropping by ... nj




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15 comments:

  1. abby20 June 2018 at 18:33

    Oh...I have so been there....too many times. For a number or reasons....don't want to worry him, he is way too busy at work...the reasons make no difference...He always wants me to run to him, and not from him. That includes ignoring my voices and reasons (excuses) and open up! You have a loving, attentive guy there...hugs abby

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    1. NoraJean20 June 2018 at 20:44

      I do, Abby ... one who has thrown himself wholeheartedly into ttwd. From your writings, it sounds like your M has done a lot to take down your walls. We are both fortunate that they insist ... hugs ... nj

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  2. PK20 June 2018 at 20:07

    You are very lucky to have a man who insists.

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    1. NoraJean20 June 2018 at 20:49

      It wasn't the same before ttwd, PK. I could get away with shutting him out, spinning myself into a total mess and then he'd suffer the consequences. He is right ... we have an agreement. It gives him (and on the other side of the coin, me) permission to insist ... nj

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  3. Roz21 June 2018 at 01:40

    Hi Nora Jean, I'm sorry you had such a day and so glad Frank was able to help put everything back to rights. Seems he knew exactly what you needed.

    I think we all struggle with going to our guys and opening up at times as we don't want them to worry, or to burden them. However, they want us to turn to them and want to help.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. NoraJean21 June 2018 at 08:16

      I think I've heard the term 'distance' used a few times in Blogland. That is what I think Frank recognized ... me not being present and accounted for. Old habits of overthinking had kicked in and I completely forgot about our agreement.
      Thanks, Roz ... nj ... xx

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  4. Windy21 June 2018 at 04:19

    NJ,
    Hi! Your post is important and I thank you for sharing it .... I struggle with stuff in my mind as well so this makes me feel our sisterhood here in blog land. I am glad Frank got you to speak with hi about it... and that you felt better in the morning. I love that he is right there with you emotionally as well as physically. Good job on not building up a wall... and letting Frank dismantle it,too........ Hugs, my friend!!! W

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    1. NoraJean21 June 2018 at 08:23

      Thanks, Windy. In the past, I thought we did a pretty good job of communicating but in retrospect, it wasn't as good as I thought it was. Since ttwd, Frank has opened up about a ton of stuff that I never realized bothered him. He in return is much more in tune with how things are between us. He has surprised me more than once with his insight. ... Hugs ... NJ

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    2. Windy21 June 2018 at 12:49

      NJ,
      Isn't it interesting to find out what they have been thinking and didn't let us know it was bothering them? A couple months ago during one of our ttwd discussions, I told Storm, "Come on. There has to be stuff that drives you nuts. As sweet and awesome as you are, I could come up with 5 right now!' And so.... he told a couple things... and we ended up laughing so hard. But, guess who has been working on those few things he told me about? Yep. They are little things, but so what. I've been doing 2 of the things the way he wants... but I forgot the 3rd and now I have to go ask him. Cracking up!! HUGS!

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  5. Anonymous21 June 2018 at 07:24

    NJ,
    In our ttwd owrld, we become more sensitive and open with one another and it is all good. It is love made real every time. Great post, NJ.
    Meredith

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    1. NoraJean21 June 2018 at 08:26

      You are exactly right, Meredith. I can see now how powerful that connection of ttwd love is. ... nj ... xx

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  6. Ella21 June 2018 at 15:01

    I found it interesting that it was something online that bothered you all day. That has happened to me, and I am always reluctant to tell Sam about it if I fell he might think it is silly.

    It is wonderful that Frank can read your moods so well already. Husbands don't much like for us to say "nothing" when they ask us what is wrong.

    Hugs From Ella

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    1. NoraJean21 June 2018 at 15:37

      Hi Ella ... the originating issue wasn't a big deal ... which is most likely why I didn't say anything the first time he asked. However my squirrel brain had made it into a much bigger deal by the end of the day hence Frank's advice to sleep on it.

      I too, am amazed at how insightful and intuitive he is. We are in a good place.

      Hugs! ... nj

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  7. Eric51Amy4921 June 2018 at 21:30

    YAY!!! I love how this was settled. You know, sometimes I don't say anything because it doesn't seem worth his time to hear whatever is eating at me. Then when I discover no matter how big or small, Eric is on board to hear it all - yay!
    Amy

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    1. NoraJean22 June 2018 at 10:57

      And how special is that! ... I just need to remember he needs/wants to know, the next time I'm looking down a rabbit hole ;) ... nj

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