Not Just Another Bandwagon

This post will most likely resonate more with ttwd folks like ourselves, those stumbling around in newbie land ... but as usual, comments are welcome from all :>))

When Frank and I first agreed the end of January, to make 

this lifestyle change to ttwd/DD, his biggest concern was that he would commit (and trust me, he was eager to do so) but he feared I, on the other hand, wouldn't stick with it. Unfortunately, I understood his reasoning. I have had us jumping on more than one lifestyle bandwagon in our history together, only to find me or us, not be able to maintain the path, whatever it was. Although, in my/our defence, I think no matter what it was, we still were able to gain knowledge, or strength from whatever changes we made. 

One of the biggest changes came after I took a seminar through my work, called the Phoenix Seminar, which focused around the writings and teachings of Brian Tracy. Frank and I followed the lessons from the course package for many months and it made a great deal of difference in my career and our home life. This was long before the power of positive thinking became a mainstream trope. Frank reminded me of some of those teachings as part of our 'Self Talk' discussions .... 

but I digress ... 

Yesterday was not a good morning. The details I won't share as a long involved backstory is required before it would make sense. However, the gist of it was, I got upset, got out of bed and 'flounced' away to the shower. Frank came after, pulled me in to him and hugged me. Then, in his words, 'I pushed him away' with a comment that I'll paraphrase as me saying 'I can't do this!'. I don't remember physically pushing him away but in retrospect, I certainly did so mentally. He turned and left.

After I showered and calmed down, I sought him out to say 'we need to have a talk'. However, I was devastated to find him visibly upset. Yes, he'd taken those words and interpreted them to mean I didn't want to continue down the ttwd/DD path - in his mind, his biggest fear had become a reality. I had to leave for an appointment but hugged him and assured him that I hadn't changed my mind and we would have a sit down later in the afternoon.

When we finally sat down for our chat, one of the things I asked him was how he thought an experienced HoH might have handled the situation - ie. not letting me get away with such behaviour. He said he didn't know where to go with what happened as he didn't want to upset me further, especially when he was thinking I was abandoning ship. And again, as he often does, he reiterated how we have a lot to learn about how to navigate this ttwd/DD world. In the end, I explained and made a commitment to him that this lifestyle shift was so significant for us, there is no way I would ever 'quit' with merely a comment ... that a full sit down '3 C' discussion would have to be part of it, with the 'Compromise' C being the most important outcome. 

So we are good again ... things are still a little quiet between us but once the weekend is here, we will be able to have some reconnect time. 

Have a good weekend all! ... nj ... xx