Everything has been going along fairly smoothly here after we returned our focus to our DD agreement in early January. We got by my minor health issue which meant, much to Frank's enjoyment 😊, spanking resumed - mostly for fun or minor infractions. Then, as we now know tends to happen, we hit a slight bump in the road.
For the past month we've had the grandboys almost every weekday while our daughter works on a special project. That has me up early to get them off to school and has at least one, two or all three of them at our house after school, plus one or the other of us is running them here and there to their extracurricular activities. I am NOT complaining ... just explaining. We do realize how lucky we are as we know several people who would give anything just to have grandchildren, or others who would love to live in the same town or city as their grandchildren. We do appreciate having time with our boys while they, and we, are young enough to enjoy it. However, our days can get quite busy, often tiring and as a result I can, on occasion, get cranky, snippy or reactive.
Frank is also hard of hearing ... and yes, he has hearing aids but he often forgets to wear them. I am also slightly hard of hearing ... which makes for a bit of gong show when we try to talk back and forth when we are not in the same room. The eldest grandson was amusedly translating for us one day which had us both laughing. However, on this day, it was not amusing.
I thought I had explained a schedule adjustment to Frank. He somehow missed or misunderstood the explanation which lead to him not doing what was expected. I might have lit into him just a tad with nary a submissive thought or tone in sight.
Once the kids had departed for the day, we settled into our easy chairs for an adult beverage and a read. However, I sensed Frank was not happy ...
"Are you mad at me?" ... I asked ...
... a pause ...
"Well I am not happy with you" ... another pause ... "yes, I am angry ... you do not get to talk to me that way"
"I'm sorry but you were just not getting it - I didn't mean it the way it sounded"
"and that is exactly the problem ... it isn't what you say. It's how you say it"
"Well, then just spank me already!"
"I shouldn't have to spank you! ... we have an agreement. You should be living up to that agreement ... and you know I don't spank when I am angry"
Okay, now I'm confused.
"What?! I don't get it" (meaning I don't get the 'I should be living up to the agreement', not the no spank in anger part) ... "if there is a line crossed or you have an issue with my behaviour, then we've agreed you can spank"
Finally, in what sounds like exasperation, he tells me to go to the bedroom, take down my pants and panties and get over the bed ...
... "and you are getting spanked with the shower brush!"
... whaaaat!? ... sheesh! - we've only given that a trial run and that was enough to know how deadly it is ... I head towards the bedroom and do as he says, telling myself I should have just kept my darn mouth shut!
I hear him go to the bathroom -
"Where's the brush, NJ?" ... yikes! ... I might have slightly hidden it by hanging it under a towel ... I 'fess up and tell him where to find it ...
He sits down beside me on the bed, half sitting with his left hip on the bed and then pulls me over and into him.
... "I'll give you a warm up"
Then I feel the back of the brush rubbing back and forth on my bum ...
"I thought you said I'd get a warm up" ... thinking I should be feeling his hand on my bum, not the brush ...
"That was the warm up" ... he says as he starts in ...
"Ow!!, ow!!, ow!!" ....... &*$%@! hell! ... that thing hurts!
After about 10 or so whacks he pulls me up to look at him. The man who never lectures starts in now ...
He tells me does not like having to spank me for punishment/discipline ... that we we have our Honesty Respect Obedience agreement. I should be living up to it. He shouldn't have to do this. That it's one thing to spank for the day to day infractions where he is helping me and himself with the organization and smooth running of our household. When it concerns the big 'rules' that matter most ... he shouldn't have to do this and he hates having to do it.
Wooooboy! ... how to answer that one ... I take a big breath and give it a try, quietly explaining ...
"Maybe it will help if you look at it not as something you are doing 'to me' but something you are doing 'for me' ... if it helps me wind down, calm down, get centred, then it's a benefit, is it not?"
Silence follows, as he considers my response ...
"This is not going to be fun ... so you have to tell me when it's too much because I won't know if it is ... and by that I don't mean you saying 'enough! enough!' ..."
... gulp! ... "OK - if I have to, I'll use our safeword"
Really! ... what was I thinking! ... back over I go ... and yes, I am a wimp so about 20 whacks (hard whacks) in it was time for me to call 'red' ...
He pulled me up and into him ...
... "Are you ok?"
... "yes", I responded quietly, trying to get my head tucked into his shoulder ...
.. he pulled back, hands on either side of my face, looking at me. He ran his thumbs under my eyes, wiping them ...
... "Hmmm ... what have we here?"
... "They're not tears!", I said ... "my eyes are just watering"
or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it ...
We still haven't sorted out all the feelings/issues that arose out of this situation. From my perspective, when Frank acts 'in the moment', angry or not, with words or a spanking, my response is instant submission. I feel it in my heart and that feels 'truer' to me, than any spanking for a minor infraction of our day to day rules.
Yes, we've agreed ... more talk is needed ...
... and PS ... that @#$%^& implement definitely needs to be returned or burned! It is, for sure, a 'weapon of ass destruction' ... up there with the dreaded Triple P ... five days later, Frank was still putting Arnica cream on my bruised bum!
... nj ... xx
