Sometimes it's the little things that count ...

Trust ....

confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance ...

Mistrust .... 
a general lack of trust or confidence, more likely to be based on feelings than experience; have doubts, misgivings or reservations about ...

This prompt topic was a challenge to write ... not because there is any doubt regarding the level of trust in our relationship ... just the opposite. After so many years together, years that have weathered many crises where trust could have easily broken down but didn't - adding to that, our fairly recent commitment to the type of relationship we've entered into - means our level of trust with, and for each other, is at a pinnacle. It's a trust that covers so many aspects of our relationship ... the trust of fidelity, trust in the assurance we can, and will share our deepest thoughts and secrets, a trust of the strength of our love, trust of safety and security, a trust that we will be there for one another ... for the remainder of our lives. 

So I think we have the big T's of trust covered, as I assume most partners in a long term ttwd relationship would - this type of relationship wouldn't last long if big T Trust wasn't there. 

However, I can also see how little mistrusts might sneak their way into a ttwd relationship ... and give cause for the disconnect or unmooring from the relationship we sometimes experience ... 

One of my observations of the past year and a half is, if there is anything that is going to derail the continuity of a ttwd relationship, it's consistency - or more to the point ... the lack of consistency. Life and all that entails, can sometimes take over the relationship - busy careers, absences, raising children, health issues ... all of which can lead to rules and rituals missed or forgotten, designated time to be spent together waylaid or the need for unanticipated relationship adjustments. A lack of consistency leads to doubt (especially for the submissive partner) and that doubt leads to mistrust ... a mistrust that has us asking, amongst other things ... are we still really doing this thing called ttwd? ...

We'd been in the midst of one of these disconnects for about a week - caused by a variety of reasons. I was up early early one morning in order to get the grandboys off to school. The first ritual that ever appeared in our life (long before ttwd) is Frank sets out my panties for the day. There is the rare occasion when I go to get dressed and there are no undies hanging over the edge of the drawer ... and if there are none, then it is understood it's a no panty day (so also a rule). There was one such day the week previous. However, he was awake so rather than go without, I asked him what I was going to wear and he said he'd forgotten to put them out ... wow! ... unusual for him ... but quickly rectified :>) So now again, on this morning, there was nothing ... and he was still asleep ... I waffled ... did he forget again? ... do I wake him up? ... do I go commando? ... I wasn't keen on wearing none as I was heading for exercise class after boys were off to school. Not finding any panties laid out again in such short period of time, plus the disconnect that was underway, triggered a teeny tiny rebellious thought of mistrust ... screw it, if he can't remember then I'll just pick my own ... so I did and off I went.

After I got home I went to change and there was a pair of panties hanging over the edge of my dresser drawer ... 'oh, oh' ... I thought, 'busted!' ...

When I came out into the kitchen, Frank asked ...

"Did you shower this morning?" ...

"Yes" ...

"Are you wearing underwear?" ...

"uhhmm ... yes, I picked my own ... I was going to exercise class so I didn't want to be without" ...

"hmmm" ... was his response ...

Later, just as we were finishing lunch and I was cleaning up, he asked ...

"Have you made the bed" ...

"Yes" ...

"Then go bend yourself over it" ... yikes! ... ok ... 

He didn't leave me waiting too long ... coming up behind me, tugging down my yoga pants to check on said underwear in question ... and then pulling down my panty selection for the day. He half sat next to me on the bed and pulled me over one leg and tucked me in. I buried my head, clutching the bed linen, preparing for what was coming.

He laid his hand on my now bare bum ...

"So who decides what panties you wear everyday?" ... he started spanking ...

slap! smack! slap! smack!

"You do, Sir" ... 

... his sharp barehanded slaps were landing on alternating cheeks, back and forth ...  

slap! smack! slap! smack! 

"What happens if there are no panties laid out in the morning?" ... 

slap! smack! slap! smack!

"I don't wear any, Sir"  ... 

slap! smack! slap! smack!

He stopped short, brought me up, smoothing my hair off my face with both hands, making sure I was looking directly at him ...

"So ... tell me again" ...

"You pick my panties and if there aren't any laid out, I don't wear any, Sir" ...

"Good girl" ... and Frank ended it with a kiss to my forehead ... 

Yes, a tiny little trust reminder ... from Frank, a reminder that says he realizes consistency matters ... and for me ... a reminder I need to work at trusting Frank will consistently follow through with overseeing even the littlest of rules and rituals in our ttwd life.

... TRUST ...