The picture you see here, is us. I post it only to give you a visual of our comparative sizes. I am not a petite woman. I am 5'8" and I carry some extra pounds on my frame - which Frank loves because I now have a bum which I didn't have when I was thinner - so no dieting for me :>). Frank is stocky and wide shouldered. He used to be 5'8" as well but age and other factors have shrunk him an inch or so.
... and btw, if you were to see the entire picture, you would see I am laughing, because of course, unbeknownst to the picture taker, he is grabbing my bum 😊 ...
... on occasion Frank will call me 'big sexy' or 'my big sexy woman' ... the 'big' referencing the fact I am a bit 'bigger' (taller) than him and it is also a nod to how much he likes my current body size ... I do know this.
... I've been good ... consciously good, refraining from any negative self talk as we know that is not tolerated ... and there are consequences for forgetting that ... I posted about that some time ago in "Self Talk Lesson"
The other morning I was dressed and in the bathroom, doing my hair. Frank came up behind me, pulling me into him, my back to his front ... looking into the mirror, his arms wrapped around me, he said ...
... "You are my big, sexy woman"
I laughed and replied ..."yeahhh ... emphasis on 'big'"
... what the hell was I thinking!! ... or more to the point ... obviously, I was not thinking! ...
... man, he was fast! ... he whipped me around, still holding me in his arms and laid into me ... a hard smack on alternating cheeks, one for each word he said to me ... high on my bum cheeks, where it hurt like hell!
... and to be honest, I can't remember what he said, only that it was the familiar chastisement that he will not tolerate me putting myself down ...
It was over quick and tears welled in my eyes as I submissively tucked my head into his shoulder. Hands on cheeks, he tipped my head back so he could look at me ...
... "I love you as you are ... I don't want to hear you talk like that again ... do .. you .. understand?"
I nodded my agreement and softly said ...
..."Yes, Sir"
... he tucked my head back into his neck ...
..."Yes, Sir"
... he tucked my head back into his neck ...
I am his big sexy woman ... emphasis on 'his' and 'woman' ...
💕
Love this ❤
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jlynne :) ... nj
DeleteOh those high smacks really hurt! I find more than the always talked about sit spots!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I am fairly certain there isn't a woman out there who is capable of no negative thoughts where her body is concerned. Lol. I once said something negative in response ( once pfft)and male friend chastised me for questioning his judgment. It really changed my thought process when it came to compliments. I realized I dismissed him, and invalidated his opinion by belittling myself after he complimented me. It isn't easy but now I just say thank you, and resist the urge. But you know, Frank's way works too. Lol
Willie
I like your perspective re compliments, Willie ... and yes, for me, that high cheek spanking hurts a heck of a lot more that any sits area spanking ... less cushioning ;)) ... nj
DeleteOh, Nora Jean, I think no matter what size we are, or how pretty, we are always so hard on ourselves. I love how he handled this, and how much he loves you, and doesn't want you harming yourself with negative thoughts. What a beautiful gift he gives you. If it helps, I think your figure is beautiful, and I'm sure many others believe so too.
ReplyDeleteHugs, EsMay
Thank you, EsMay!
DeleteNJ,
ReplyDeleteI want to see the picture from the back so we can see your sexy butt.... Frank can still face forward as I do not want to check him out.... you do that very well all on your own, you big flirt. I, too, get spanked for negative self talk (that Storm hears, anyway!). We women are way too hard on ourselves. I struggle with it almost daily. I love this big sexy post! Hugs! Windy
I don't think there are any pics of my butt I could share, you cheeky girl! ...
DeleteI wonder why do women struggle with this ... as he ages, Frank fusses about body changes as well (ie. loss of muscle and strength) but I don't think it affects his self image.
... happy you loved the post! ... hugs! ... nj
This post really touched me..... my Sir Steve gets cross with me when I say "I'm so stupid"... we all have our own self talk don't we?? AND it's so good to be with someone who 'encourage' us to change the mind set :)
ReplyDeleteFrank has always been reassuring about my self image ... the difference with our ttwd journey is he now has a pretty effective way to get me to change my views about it ;) ... nj
DeleteHi NJ, such a lovely, sweet post :) Rick hates any negative self talk too. We are our own worse critics.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
We are, aren't we Roz. Happy to hear your Rick is looking out for you as well ... nj
DeleteI love this. What a lovely couple. He loves you just as you are as I am sure you love him and you are both beautiful. Hugs
ReplyDeleteThank you, Terps! ... nj
Delete'His' and 'woman' what two wonderful words to concentrate on.
ReplyDeleteThey sure are, PK ... nj
DeleteMy first boyfriend ever told me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I've always had a hard time viewing myself kindly. Body image is such a hard topic for so many people. Let's start a Big Sexy movement and focus on the joy of how we look and who we are without comparison or critical thoughts. I know, easier said than done but from one 5'8" girl to another, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
ReplyDeleteAmy
Yes, Big Sexy, it is! ... I have always liked being tall and I don't mind the bit of extra weight. For me, its the aging I struggle with. Did you see Terps' music vid today? ... loved the natural beauty of all those women, young and old ... I have to keep those images in mind ... nj
DeleteNJ,
ReplyDeleteEven "headless" you two look so cute. I love Frank's love language used full force on you. Big Sexy is a high compliment indeed. Great post!
Meredith
Thanks, Meredith! ... never would have said he was a man of words but he does manage to get his point across quite effectively these days :)) ... nj ... xx
DeleteWhen they love us they see us through the eyes of love. How great is that?
ReplyDeleteIt is good, Leigh ... very good! ... nj
DeleteYour picture is beautiful, and this story is too. I love how ttwd deepens things for us. What we feel, the things we do, how we see each other....just to name a few. There is nothing better than being taken care of by a person that loves us in our entirety. This was very sweet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Laurel ... ttwd has brought us into a different relationship realm ... one I/we never thought possible ... or even considered ... nj
DeleteI love this so much. That is really the perfect spanking story It doesn't gt much better than that.
ReplyDeleteYes, Olivia, ... for sure, it's those reactive, in the moment ones that mean the most :) ... nj
Delete