Our FSoG Story Part II ... aka ... When Frank Disappeared ... A Cautionary Tale

I ended my post before last, on a high note, with a promise of more story to come. Unfortunately what followed wasn't quite what you might expect ...

We had a great Spring in 2017 ... tons of fun in and out of the bedroom. Then, as fast as it came about, it was gone. 

In writing my FSoG post I had a great time rereading the sexy back and forth emails we exchanged (Frank does not text ... does not even own a cellphone as he tossed his when he retired). On May 14th, 2017, I sent ... "..... I've bookmarked a very sexy part in the book I'm reading. If you are interested in reading it, let me know 😘😍❤️" ... There was no return email to be found and no further email exchanges at all.

In looking back, I now remember I didn't really think too much about at the time. However not too long after, it suddenly dawned on me ... "Waaait a minute ...  what's going on?" ... I realized there was no daily lingerie was being laid out in the morning. And come to think of it, there was no man behind me copping a feel while I was working in the kitchen nor were there any of his other handsy moves he makes all the time. Odd ... very odd. I ask Frank if everything is ok. He doesn't seem to think there's an issue. More time goes on and now I'm paying attention ... we're at no sex at night and not a lot in the morning which means something is going on. Frank is a sex everyday if he can get it kind of man and as I said in my last post his sexuality is a big part of his personality. I was also noticing an overall difference in him in that he was quite quiet and introverted ... Now it was me who was saying 'who are you and what have you done with my husband'!

I worked for many years in computer systems management. When one of our services failed the first thing our team looked for was 'what was the last system change' ... and that's exactly what I asked myself and I immediately knew the answer.

In 2015, Frank was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had emergency surgery to remove the affected kidney (it was a horrible year ... and most of 2016 wasn't a whole lot better as it took a long time for him to recover physically and mentally). Thankfully now, all is well, however he does have to have regular checkups and tests. In March his Doc decided his blood pressure was too high so she put him on medication. Then at the end of April she decided it hadn't dropped enough so she added a second medication. He was fine in March and April so I suspected drug #2 was the culprit. I consulted Dr Google and sure enough ... there it was ... said med has the potential to decrease libido. Those Libidos ... always causing trouble ;)

I told Frank what I'd discovered and suggested he go talk to his Dr. He was a bit horrified ... our Doc is female and he balked at the thought of having to go talk to her about his sex life. So I left it for awhile, getting more and more frustrated as time went on .... and by now I'm thinking - 'karma is such a bitch!'. With the shoe on the other foot, I now knew how he felt for those very many years when Lola Libido and I were dodging, evading and refusing. 

I tried adding 'make a Drs appt' to his daily to do list. I threatened to go talk to her myself. However I knew darn well when you are the one at the low end of the libido scale, you don't see anything wrong with it. You simply 'don't feel like it' and what's the big deal about that.

Finally there was a breaking point. It happened on a rare day when he suggested sexy time might be in the cards that night and specified the lingerie he'd like (of course he did ;>) ... and if you are new to this blog and puzzled about my man's lingerie obsession you can read about it here :>)).

"Woohoo!", I thought. I went the whole nine yards ... hair, makeup, sexy lingerie and sashayed myself out to the living room where he was watching TV, only to have him ...

... Turn Me Down ... 

I was absolutely devastated. Never in our 47 yrs had he ever passed up an opportunity to make love. I immediately took myself to bed and cried my eyes out. I was heartbroken. 

He came into the bedroom not too long after, got into bed with me, held me, kissed me, consoled me and apologized from the bottom of his heart. I told him how hurt I was and how much I missed him ... the real him.

I explained I felt we were like two ships that had passed in the night ... we'd only had those 3 or 4 months where we were on the same path, such a good path, and I was so sad that it was gone and now I was afraid we'd never get it back. He finally admitted that he hadn't been feeling like himself and agreed he needed to go talk to the doc.

But then, because nothing our life ever goes to plan, life intervened. He had 'an episode' ...  an odd set of symptoms that required a hospital emergency visit and due to his medical history, a subsequent set of tests. Immediately everything else went on the back burner. When it came time to go visit the doc for the test results I went with him (after a couple of disasters, we have a pact where he does not go for test results appointments without me). I told him up front we were also talking to her about his other problem. 

Whew! ... all the tests came back negative. There was no explanation for what had occurred but to know nothing else was wrong was such a relief. I was now waiting for him to say something to her about the BP meds and when he didn't I immediately jumped in. I am not at all shy so I laid it all out for her. She had a bit of a smile on her face when she told him she would do some research (although there are many types of BP meds, him having only one kidney affects the types he can take) and he was to come back in a few days and she'd have a new prescription for him. 

When we got to the car I said "See .... that wasn't so hard now was it?" I got a glare ... "yeah, I loved sitting there while you two talked about my sex life" ... "our sex life",  I corrected him.

Within a week or so after he went off the old med and started the new, I got up in the AM to find lingerie laid out for me .... big sigh of relief!! ... thank-you, thank-you, thank-you! ... I have my man back!

PS ... on the positive side, BP meds improve blood flow - yes, down there as well ... Frank is enjoying those side benefits ... and so am I 😀

and PPS ... at his next checkup the doc asked him how things were going with the med change ... his response ... "Nora Jean is happy" ... there is truth in the saying ... happy wife, happy life 😋

Thanks for dropping by! ... nj