An Ella Meme from Terps

Something tells me the summer time Blogland doldrums are here given the meme posts cropping up here and there. Earlier this month, both Terpsichore and Hermione posted this one, authored by Ella. I thought it might make for a good mid summer post for me as well ... 

1.  Name a place where you have always wanted to make love with your partner. 

I am practical and as such, realize most idealized, romantic places to make love wouldn't be all that sexy in reality ... you'd be getting beach sand up your crotch, pine needles in your backside, the bugs would be biting your butts and airplane bathroom spaces are too tight as are back seats of cars. Give me a nice comfy bed anyday ... doesn't have to be my own bed ... just needs be comfortable. 

2. What is your least favorite implement for a discipline spanking?

A skinny little bamboo tomato stake I've take to calling the 'Whippersnapper' ... it hasn't made an appearance for a while and it can stay gone! 

Not as innocent as they look!

3. Name or describe a piece of lingerie in which your husband loves to see you. 

In our case the question might be better put as "name a piece of lingerie he doesn't love to see you in" ... granny panties .... and even those he likes to see once in awhile. He is, after all, my special Lingerie Man. There is one piece I don't have that he would like me to get ... a black garter belt with 6 garters, and of course, to go with it, black seamed stockings 

4. Do you favour silver jewellery or gold? Besides a wedding ring, do you have a signature piece that you wear often or even every day?

Silver ... almost all my jewellery is silver. The only jewellery I wear regularly are earrings and occasionally necklaces, almost all bought from my two favourite precious metal artists as I can only wear precious metal earrings. One of the artists, a silversmith, makes some very sexy jewellery where she incorporates romantic and erotic quotes into her work ... which you would only see if you looked closely at the piece. I wish I could share her words and her website but it would be too revealing for me to do so. 

Frank and I have not worn wedding rings for years. Him because of his type of work. Me, because I lost the stone in my set over 30 years ago and we never bothered replacing it. I wore my Gram's ring set for a few years before opting to give it to one of the kids. We don't miss having rings nor do we want replacements. 

5. What was the worst job you ever had?

My first real job was as a receptionist in a place called "Lovely Lady Figure Salon" ... it was a ripoff scam business that sold 'fitness packages' to use their 'weight loss' machines which were supposed to remove fat through motions of said machines. They sold to every and anyone, including elderly people. I hated how people were ripped off and as a result I never wanted to, and never did, work in direct sales (other than retail).

6. Is there something your husband does (or doesn't do) around the house that drives you crazy?

Just one teeny, tiny thing ... he almost always never closes a kitchen cupboard door after he's opened it. He partially closes it, leaving it open an inch or two ... why? ... I have no idea. Now, post ttwd, I just close them behind him. 

7. What is the hardest thing you ever had to learn? Could be school, career, life, or even ttwd.

Learning to listen to others and to not interrupt ... I think fast and it often leads to me finishing sentences of those I'm in conversation with, or if a thought comes to mind I want to blurt it out before I forget it. I still have to tell myself to slow down, take my turn and focus on listening. 

8.  Besides a spanking, tell us something that always brings a tear to your eye. Could be a movie, a song, a memory, or something else. 

When I was in my thirties I lost someone very near and dear to me. He was a pilot, who died way too young. Whenever I fly, on takeoffs and landings, I say a little hello and good- bye to him which always makes me teary. 

9. What was your favorite grade in school (K through 12) and why?

Grade 7 ... it's when this tomboy discovered boys really were the opposite sex and somehow very attractive

10. As a child, did you have a favorite stuffed animal or doll that you took to bed?

Never

11. What was a make-believe game you loved to play when you were a kid?

Cowboys, cowgirls and anything to do with horses. We had a long bouncy log in our yard that served as my pony for many years.

12. Look in your closet. Is there a lot of one particular color? Are you drawn to that color when you shop?

The basics are black or denim, teamed with colours of teal blue, green, peachy pink, orange or red. In the winter I wear pashminas of varying colours. 

13. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? What is your favorite soft beverage?

Red wine, although I do love a martini or G&T in the summer. For non alcoholic beverages, it's Coke or carbonated  water.

14. If you could have your dream job for a day, what would it be?

I have it. I'm an artist who sells work commercially

15. Describe your wedding gown. If you didn't have a gown, tell us about what you wore. If you were going to get married again, what would you pick today?

Empire waist, scoop neck, long sleeves, white silk under, overlaid with lace and made by my best friend, maid of honour and room mate ... our apartment was a sewing centre for many months.

I am married to the only man I will ever marry so no need to speculate what I'd wear the next time around because there will never be another wedding (and Frank gets annoyed when I say that ... he always figures he's going first and doesn't want me to be left alone and lonely :))

16. Tell us about your first car! How old were you? Did you give it a name? Do you remember how much it cost?

Army green 1969 Datsun 510 with beige interior ... I was 18 yrs old ... it was a no name car that cost $500 and my Dad took me to the credit union to get my first loan to buy it. 

Thank-you, Terps for resurrecting this meme, to Hermione for reminding me to add pics just for fun, and to Ella for creating it! 

... Hope you all are having a great summer! ... thanks again for dropping by ...  nj

The Morning Ritual

When you sleep with someone for over 40 years, your individual rhythms become one ...

I awaken first, knowing without looking he is still asleep. I await, in gradually heightening anticipation. Yesterday he instructed me in what is to become our Morning Ritual ... I let myself sink into submissive thought ... 

When I sense his eyes opening I know it's time. I glance over to be sure, then pulling my pillow to me, I move towards the end of the bed, turning myself around. Pressing my head into the pillow, I raise my flanks, put hands on cheeks, opening myself to him .... and wait ...

The air moves and I feel him stir, then move. A palm caresses my right cheek, then moves to my left cheek, circling, back and forth ... rough and calloused ... back and forth ...

My heart pulses and my heat rises as his fingers slide down between my legs, back of his hand caressing back to front ... then fingers tugging and pulling on folds. 

He speaks barely above a whisper ...

... "Do you like it better here?" ... swirl ... 

"or here?" ... stroke ... 

"here?" ... swirl ... 

"or here?" ... stroke ...

Groaning softly, I reply ...  "everywhere, Sir" ... 

He continues ... around again, right cheek, left cheek, dip, swirl and stroke ... 

Then nothing ... a tap on my right cheek tells me he's done. 

I feel him move back on the bed, stretching out. Turning around, I lay my head on his thighs and take him in my mouth ... after all these years I still marvel at how something so male could be so velvety smooth. Licking, sucking ... my turn for dip, swirl and stroke ... I look up to see him watching carefully, hands behind his head ... 

I wonder ... will it be a morning for just his pleasure, a morning for just my pleasure,   a morning of pleasure for both of us ... 

... or is it simply ... "Good Morning, Sir" 

A Reset?

I think I've mentioned in a previous post I would never have been a good nurse. Frank has had more than his share of health issues over the years, including two serious illnesses. For the less serious health issues, I was rarely a good caregiver, either letting him fend for himself or helping out begrudgingly. When he had the second serious illness in 2015, it turned my thinking upside down, as I truly thought I might lose him. I have since done my utmost ... and more again, since ttwd ... to make sure he stays healthy and feels cared for. 

So why am I blabbering on about this again? ... the other day we were on the deck, having our late afternoon sit down ... where we share a glass of wine, a chat, catch up on our day and sometimes, read 'the blogs'. What exactly Frank said is a blur but I can give you the gist of it ... a blogger had written about having surgery and how her HoH wasn't stepping up to the mark re caring for her. Frank's words went something like this ... 

"Did you read this?" ... he mentions the blog ... 

Me ... "yup", 

Frank ...  "that guy sounds just like you", <grin>

Whump!! ... my heart imploded ... and a roil of emotions blew through me. I couldn't believe what I just heard! Without saying a word, I gathered my iPad, my wine glass, got out of my chair, turned  on my heel and left for the kitchen to return my glass. .... How could he say that?! ... I have been trying so hard!

"Nora Jean ... get ... back ... here" .... that was his "no nonsense" voice speaking ... 

... by the time I reached the sink, I was trembling all over ... 

"Nora Jee-ean? .... don't walk away" ... the lift in his voice at the end of 'Jean' made it a two syllable word

"You need talk to me, Babygirl" ... now he's on the move ... 

I can't talk ... I can barely breathe .... How could he say that?! How could he say that?! ... the phrase was on repeat in my brain as I leaned over the sink

He came up behind me, pulling me back into him ... "I'm sorry, I'm sorry ... it was a joke ... I didn't mean it the way it sounded" 

I turned into him ... "I try very hard to take good care of you .... I know I didn't before but I have been trying to not be that person any more" ... by now I am crying 

"You do take very good care of me, you do and I know and see it. I might not be here without you" ... he is speaking softly, stroking my hair, wiping my tears ... "I was talking about before, not now" 

"I feel so guilty about how I was before ... and I've tried so hard since ... What you said didn't sound like before. It sounded like you were talking about now and that hurt, really hurt" 

"I am very sorry ... I didn't mean that way" ... he's holding my face in his hands ... "Look at me" ... making sure my eyes are on his, he repeats ... "Look at me ... I'm sorry" .... he pulls me in and holds me close, rubbing my back for a minute or two 

Then pulling back he is holding my face again .... "something else is going on ... you've been on edge all day ... you need to tell me what it is"

"I hate going away without you" ... I am leaving in the morning for a down one day, back the next, trip to the city for an appointment. It's not the type of trip I like to take at the best of times, less so on my own, so I have been fussed about it all day, snappish  and out of sorts. 

"I know you do ... and I hate having to stay here without you. It'll be quick. You'll be back home before you know it" ... he pulls me back in ... "Are we good?"

I nod into his shoulder

After a moment, he breaks away, grabbing my hand and tugging ... "I need this and so do you" ... he is pulling me towards and then into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"Pants down" ... I comply pushing down my jeans and panties ...

"All the way off", he says. I kick them off ...

"Arms up" ... he has my tee and bra off all in one move, then his hand is at the back of my neck, pushing me down into and over the side of the bed ... "spread your legs" ... 

Smack! ... his hand lands hard on my right cheek ... then my left - Smack! ... and Smack! Smack!, a repeat of the same ... 

And then I hear the buckle clink ... lately his old belt has taken up residence on his side table, innocuously looped as if dropped there. I get to pass by it every time I go into the bedroom. 

It is a new favourite ... for both of us ... although, when he puts some weight behind it, he has me dancing. And dancing is soon what I'm doing now. 

When he's done ... and I don't know how many or how long but I do know it hurt like hell! ... he pulls me back up and into his arms and repeats softly  ... "are we good?" 

"Yes", I whisper ...

Later we talk ... we agree, in the past, what happened would have meant a big blowup, followed by a 'who knows how long' period of anger and silence. This time we dealt with it, in the here and now, clearing the air of our immediate differences and for me, erasing the guilt for past behaviours I now knew I'd been holding onto.

This was a first for us ... I am guessing it was what all you more experienced folks out there call 'a reset' ... a most appropriate term 

Introspection ... Six Months Into Our Journey

Most of my latest posts have been fun little stories ... I hope you've enjoyed them. Now it's time to get a bit more serious. We are at a point where I think an update on our ttwd journey is due.

Here's a bit of a recap, in case you are recent to reading this blog ... the main reason we ventured down this ttwd road six months ago was a desire to see if practising a DD lifestyle would enable us to bring our long time bedroom D/s dynamic into our mainstream life. For 20 years we have had some form of the D/s dynamic as a regular part our love/sex life. It wasn't an always thing ... 2-3 times a month one or the other of us would need it and it would happen. It retrospect I might call it a D/s lite type of dynamic. Other times we were strictly vanilla. Frank would often push for us to practice more, especially outside the bedroom, but mentally I was just not able to go there. When I brought DD to him, he was immediately on board to give it a try. 

When Fledgling HoH Meets Bedroom Dom ... 

This was the original title to this post when it was started a while ago. We were only in ttwd land a few months. Although we are retired and it's just the two of us living in our house, we are surrounded with family ... kids with keys being the biggest issue, along with cousins as neighbours and other neighbours who often drop by. It makes us a little bit cautious about taking openly ttwd/D/s activities out of the privacy of our bedroom. A perfect opportunity arose where I knew we would be entirely alone for an evening. Frank was 'in town' for a bit so I took the time to have a bath, mow the lawn (ok, a bit of humour :>)), put on an attire that I knew would get his attention (short skirt, crop top, knee highs, hair in a pony tail). I greeted him at the top of the stairs when he got home. He grinned and the night was on. I had appies and wine laid out at the dining table, a favourite dinner in the making and toys were laid out in the bedroom. We talked ttwd talk, ate and laughed ... then he  would point me in the direction of bedroom and Dom Frank would take over and we'd play as we have for many years. Then we'd head back out to the dining room, talk again over food, etc and then again, back to the bedroom for another interlude. At one point, in the back and forth, I laughed and said ... "Hi there Mr HoH ... meet Mr Dom" ... because there were subtle differences between the two personalities. The HoH Frank was less sure of himself. However, Dom Frank was as confident as he'd been for years. 

Fast forward to now ... 

As of now, Frank has undergone a mindmeld of those two personalities and  Dom Frank has definitely come out on top. There are times when some of our discussions or his Domly directives have me doing a double take ... like 'where the hell did that come from'! because I know he's not reading 'How to be a Dom' books. He's a learn by doing guy not a learn by reading. Yes, he has been doing Domly things in the bedroom for years but the way he now acts and responds in every day life is new. I asked him the other day where it's coming from. His response ... he thinks it's always been there ... just stuffed down inside because in his words, "if I'd tried any of this way back when, you'd have just told me to eff off" ... yes, he's right, I would have :>)

I am a life long learner and book worm so I have not been sitting idly by waiting for our ttwd D/s to evolve. I've been reading 'back in blogs' of those whose kink is obviously a D/s lifestyle (our Abby at finally finding "me" is one). Recently, I've also read a couple of books ... one as a result of an interview Jlynne did with Anton Fulmen and published in her blog "Becoming His: Our Journey into a D/s Dynamic". To read the interview go here. Anton's book The Heart of Dominance is intended for Dominants but enlightening for submissives as well. 

From the resource section in that book I found Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham, written for submissives. 

I am not planning on putting either of these books under Frank's pillow but I am currently doing a reread of both with my yellow highlighter in hand and will share the bits and pieces with him I think he might find interesting or I would like him to become interested in :>)

All of my reading and research has been enlightening. However the biggest impact for me have been three nuggets I found within Abby's blog. Nuggets that have really turned my thinking on its head ... and just so you know, Abby and her M have been practicing their D/s lifestyle for 16 years and she has been writing about it for 8 of those 16 years so there is a lot of experience in that blog! The nuggets are as follows:

obedience is not necessarily submission ... if you are a singer and someone directs you to 'sing a song', you could do it off key, in a soft voice that is barely heard, facing away from your audience and all that action could be seen as obeying the directive OR you could put your whole heart and voice into your song and as you can well imagine, the results will be very different. Submission comes from within. Obedience is an externally driven response.

the more submissive the submissive is, the more dominant the Dominant will become ... which then in turn feeds back to the submissive. It is definitely a dance (a reference I read in the two books numerous times). If I look closely at our previous D/s experience, I see my then self as a passive submissive, expecting Frank to 'do his dominance thing' to me as the recipient. I now see that the submissive must be an active participant in that dance. As a result I am trying very hard to approach our new dynamic with what I am calling my 'submissive heart', looking for opportunities to demonstrate my submissiveness to and for Frank. He has noticed my efforts and I in turn have noted an increase in his dominance.  

And from Abby's M, two key words ... follow through and consistency ... these words were also mentioned considerably in the two books I read as well. The key message for the Dominant being he/she needs to consistently follow through with enforcement of agreed to (negotiated) rules and expectations.

So this is where we are six months into our ttwd journey ... not long ago I wrote a comment in response to Windy's (When the Storm Whispers to the Wind) post about the ideal ttwd town with the ice cream named streets. I said then we were living at the corner of French Vanilla and Rocky Road. Well now I can tell you ... we are looking at a little two storey further up the hill on Rocky Road, with a Moose Tracks cottage in the back for my studio ... and a dungeon in the basement ... interesting times they are ahead!

thanks as always for dropping by ... nj 

A Ladies Choice Morning ...

Frank has just come back to bed after morning 'farm' duties. He's sitting up on top of the bed covers, fully dressed (jeans and white tee)  and is reading on his tablet. I snuggle up to him, nuzzling into his chest, enjoying the fresh summer morning scent he's brought back in with him ...

F ... smiling ...  " what do you want?"

Me ... "A kiss"

F ... "Then come up here"

I slide up and I'm kissing him

F ... "Are you horny?"

Me ... "hmm ... no, not really"

F ... "Do you need a spanking?"

Me ... "Yes, please"

F ... "Yes, please, what?"

Me ... "Yes, please, Sir"

F ... "What kind? ... your choice"

M ... "Hand please, Sir"

We've been in 'implement world' for the past few weeks and I am missing his hands ... he has thick hands with short stocky fingers ... they are the rugged hands of a man who has used them his entire working life ... nothing soft about them

Then me again (with a big breath because sometimes it's still hard to talk about things like this other than in my head) ... 

... "Can we try having a number and counting spanks ... I think it might help me knowing there's a destination rather than a random start and stop"

 F ... "Yes, of course"

Me ... "With breaks and rubbing in between?"

Frank motions for me to get off and come around the bed ...

F ... "Come on over" ... he's arranging pillows over his lap ... "How many? .... your choice"

Ha!, I'm thinking ... I guess it's ladies choice day ;)) ... I pause and consider ...

Me ..."50?"

F .... "ok" ... rubbing my bum ... "Count out loud"

Me ... " Yes"

F ... "Yes what?"

Me ... "Yes, Sir"

I tuck my head into, and hands under, the pillow ... 10 somewhat soft spanks commence ... I count ....

F ... "Louder please, I can't hear you"

He give me a harder 10 across both cheeks followed by a circling rub ... then 10 harder yet on left cheek ... a brief rub ... 10 of the same again on right cheek with a longer rub in between. Then pulling up on my right hip he tucks me in a little closer .... and delivers 10 very hard spanks across both cheeks. I still manage to count, although I don't know how, squeaking out the last numbers into the pillow. He follows with a gentle rubbing all over and around ...

F ... "That's a nice pink colour" and then "Come here and straddle me"

He pulls me up, shifting my knees under his arms and holding me in tight to his chest, my head tucked into his shoulder ...

F .... "Good?" ... he speaks softly into my ear 

Me ... "Mmmhmm" .... we lay like that for a couple of minutes

F ... pulling up and smiling ... "Now turn around and straddle me the other way so I can enjoy the view and we can have some more fun"

... Have I told you how much I love those mornings when we have the time to spend them together? ... 

Red and White

Canada Day ... yesterday morning ... I'm in my pj's, hustling about in the kitchen early ... I've got 15 people coming for dinner and I need to get the prep work done. I pop into the bedroom for a moment to grab something and there, as they are every morning, are my undies for the day - today, it's white boy shorts ...

Coming back into the kitchen, I quip ... "I see we're going with the tighty whities today"

Frank ... "Canadian Flag"

Me ... "Eh?"

Frank ... "Canadian Flag"

Me ... "There's no Canadian Flag on those"

Frank ... "I'm going to spank your ass bright red first and then you can put those on ... Canada Day colours ... Canadian Flag!"

I laughed out loud and shook my head :>) ... it seems my spanky man can always find or make up an excuse to spank me ... 

yes, the spanking happened ... 
yes, looking in the rear view mirror, my bum was bright red ...

It was a Spanky Canada Day here in the great white (and red) north! 

... hope you all had a great weekend!  ... nj

Oh Canada ...

Today is Canada Day, our country’s 151st birthday … 

We’re not a people known for standing up and thumping our chests, but make no mistake, we are very proud of our country. There's lots to love about it, from it’s wonderful natural beauty to the diversity and capabilities of our people.  

We also known for our sense of humour and we are not afraid to poke fun at ourselves ...... so ‘JFF’ … (just for fun :>)) … I thought I'd share some slightly off the wall facts about Canada ... 

Canada only got its own flag 100 years after it became a country - on February 15, 1965.

The famous Canadian interjection "eh" is actually listed in the Canadian Oxford Dictionary as a valid word.

You can write a letter in any language and send it to the North Pole, H0H 0H0 (Santa's postal code - all addresses have one), Canada and you will receive a letter back from Santa.

The townspeople of Nanaimo, BC, race bathtubs as part of an annual aquatic tradition. Nanaimo is also the birthplace of the famous Nanaimo Bar ... a to die for sweet treat!

Some of the world's most popular superheroes were conceived by Canadian minds, including Superman and Wolverine

Canada has an island called "Dildo"

Canada is home to the Narcisse Snake Pits of Manitoba, the largest orgy of garter snakes in the world ... no pic here ... snakes freak me out!

The second largest country in the world after Russia, Canada is bigger than the entire European Union, more than 30 per cent larger than Australia, five times as big as Mexico, three times as big as India and about the same size as 81,975 Walt Disney Worlds put together

If you visit Dawson City, Yukon, you can join the “Sourtoe Cocktail Club” — all you have to do is finish a drink (of

anything!) with a real human toe in the bottom. The club’s motto says, “You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow—but the lips have gotta touch the toe.”

Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined.  At last count, there may be as many as two million, with 563 lakes larger than 100 square kilometres

The third official language of Canada is "goose" - just kidding :>). However, Canadian geese do have as many as 13 different animal calls that are distinctly their own

Only in Canada could it go from -19 degrees C (-2 F) to 22  degree C (72 F) in an hour! (Pincher Creek, Alberta in 1962)

As much as Canadians love hockey, it's actually not the national sport - lacrosse is

The world's first UFO landing pad was built in Alberta in 1967

Montreal is the world’s second largest French speaking city after Paris

Hawaiian pizza was invented by an Ontario man

There are nearly 250 car accidents a year involving a moose

Ogopogo is a mythical monster similar to the Loch Ness Monster that supposedly lives in Lake Okanagan, BC

We call our $1 and $2 coins loonies and toonies

At the Bay of Fundy in Nova Scotia, you can run on the sea bed in a "Not Since Moses" run, but you have to make it across before the 100 billion tons of water rush back!

There's an area in the Hudson Bay region has less gravity than the rest of the planet.

The official phone number for Canada is 1-800-O-Canada

... Wishing all my fellow Canadians out there in Blogland ...  

Happy Canada Day!

Thanks for dropping by ... nj